Rei and the Phillies

I first started writing the modern long-form version of Rome's Revolution in April of 2005. At that point in time, even though I loved the Phillies, they weren't doing very well. In fact, their record was 88 and 74 and they finished in second place. In 2006, their record was actually worse. They finished 85 and 77, twelve games back in the East.

The incredible thing was they were about to become the losingest franchise in sports history. Due to The Ark Lords Effect, I was also building out the critical scenes for the second part of Rome's Revolution so I figured I'd work this fact into the story.

Yesterday, we saw that Rei was able to escape sure death by utilizing the first successful version of MINIMCOM's whoosh-pop snap tunnels. However, it wasn't enough to escape. Rei was simply too curious as to why the Deucadons spoke English. You will see MINIMCOM was not very happy about this:

     “What if we tracked him?” asked one of the men.
     “How?” asked another. “He tunneled straight up through sixty meters of rock. Ya think he’s just goin’ to sit around and wait for us to find him?”
    Rei decided to interrupt them. “Hello?” Rei called out to them from over the rock. “For your information, I am not Vuduri.”
     “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” shouted MINIMCOM in his head.
     “I don’t know who these guys are but they speak English. I want to find out their story.”
     “They are going to kill you,” MINIMCOM said.
     “Not if I can help it,” thought Rei.
     “Where are ya?” one of the men shouted, searching the rim of the tiny canyon.
     “I’m out of sight for now,” Rei called out. “I’m hardly going to show myself if all you’re going to do is kill me.”
     “Who are ya?” another one of the men asked.
     “I am Rei Bierak. A member of the crew of the Ark II, Tau Ceti mission.”
     “Ark?” said the third man. “Yar from Earth?”
     “Yes, of course I am from Earth.”
     “So are we,” said the first man.
     “Hush yar mouth,” shouted the second.
     “Naw, it’s all right,” said the first. “He’s one of us.”
     “Naw he’s nawt,” said the second. Then he called up to Rei. “How is it that ya come to wear Vuduri clothes? How do ya speak Vuduri?”
     “I’ve had a year to practice,” Rei said. “And somebody gave me these clothes. They’re not mine.”
     “Who gave ‘em to ya? Where have ya been all this time?”
     “Listen,” Rei said. “I promise I will answer all your questions if you promise not to kill me.”
     The three men looked at each other.
     “Tell us somethin’ that proves ya are who ya say ya are,” said the third man.
     Rei thought to himself for a minute then said, “The Phillies are the losingest franchise in professional sports history.”
     The three men whispered among themselves.
     “What’re the Phillies?” called out the first man.
     “They are a baseball team. How could you not know that? How long have you guys been here, anyway?”
     “Never mind that. Tell us somethin’ that we know.”

Well, Rei's heart was in the right place and in 2005, this seemed like a valid and important fact. But the core players of the 2008 World Champion Phillies were either already on the roster or rapidly rising in the farm system. By the time I had finished putting together the modern version, the losingest franchise part no longer seemed relevant. So I changed it to this:

     The three men looked at each other.
     “Tell us somethin’ that proves ya are who ya say ya are,” said the third man.
     Rei thought to himself for a minute then said, “If you guys are from Earth and came here on an Ark, when they first landed, everybody’s back hurt. I bet a lot were incapacitated.”
     There was a stunned silence. After a moment or two, the first man said, “Come down here. We will talk. We will nawt kill ya. Ya have our word.”

Much better. Go Phillies!