How To: Fake It ‘Til You Make It

A universal truth about winter: the three A’s — Arid-Ass Air. So dry, in fact, that a nose bleed is more common than losing your phone in a cab.

The perk: Less oily hair and therefore, fewer reasons to wash it.

The cons: a) tresses that resemble all too acutely the stiff fibers of a broom and b) your inability to use hair-washing as an excuse to get out of burdensome obligations, like, for example, dinner with a cousin who still calls you by a childhood nickname that should have died when you turned six, mispronounces your husband’s name in spite of the frequency with which the two have met and continues to inquire about when you’re going to get a real job (and, fortuitously, when you’ll finally wash your hair).

There is, however, a solution for the times your obligations are more elective and you’d prefer not to look like a household appliance. It comes in a bottle that when sprayed, provides the kind of glow and shine you’d expect from only a pregnant woman or recent Golden Globe winner.

And because Man Repeller is unwittingly becoming a destination to ponder the achievement of hair styles indicative of different decades (last week tackled 60s hair and before that, we spoke Turtleneck Hair — the 90s?), let’s throw a nod to the 70s in here too.

Last week, we sent Charlotte, who has essentially only had to wash her hair twice during the course of her lifetime due to its perennial dryness, to Bumble and bumble’s Meat Packing District salon to test out the anterior’s Invisible Oil products. In doing so, a fake a set of 70s, Farrah Fawcett-esque bangs were curl-ironed into the front of her head and were accompanied by the kind of shimmering waves that make sunsets possible (and have heretofore made fringe worth wearing, turtlenecks worth hoarding).

Here’s what the process looked like:

Step 1: Wash hair with Hairdresser’s Invisible Oil shampoo & conditioner.

Step 2: Add Hairdresser’s Invisible Oil primer on towel dried hair.

Step 3: Add 2 pumps of — you guessed it — Hairdresser’s Invisible Oil while simultaneously running fingers through hair and blow drying it until it’s halfway dry. Pro tip: your hair is considered “halfway dry” if, were you to be very late for a date, you’d leave it as is knowing that it would probably finishing drying by the time you arrived at whatever awkward wine bar you guys planned to meet at, but, if you had all the time in the world and your apartment’s heater was broken, you’d spend another 10 minutes blasting hot air at your head.

Step 4: Add a squirt of Thickening spray for  hold.

Step 5: More hair drying but this time, dry it entirely — you know, really drive it home; get nice and cozy up in there. Then, brush it with some Spray de Mode before curling.

Step 6: Curl, but be sure to wrap hair around the barrel away from your face as opposed to curling it inwards.

Step 6 1/2: You look like Honey Boo Boo! Bask in this for a moment. Send a Snapchat for sure.

Final step: Brush out curls (Honey Bye Bye!) and then, for maximum shine, add 2 more pumps of Invisible Oil over waves. Comb through with your fingers for that “Oh this old hair?,” not-too-perfect look.

A really fun thing to do is try and repeat this later on an actual broom. It is impossible, which should remind you that no matter how badly the three A’s attack your head this winter, with the right tools, you will always have more in common with Farrah Fawcett than a household appliance. Groovy.

In partnership with Bumble and bumble, products also available at Sephora. Hair by Mischa Gobie at Bumble and bumble salon.