My Theme Word for 2015
My theme word for 2015 is reform.
What do you think of when you hear the word reform? Discipline? Self-inflicted pain? Torture?
I’m sure all those words come to mind…as well as reform school, perhaps, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that some of those words come to my mind as I dwell on the word I’ve chosen for this year. To be honest, I’m terrified to think of what lies beneath twenty-fifteen’s welcoming smile. While I want to smile and embrace the new year, I’m secretly hoping that 2015 isn’t just 2014’s uglier sister.
2014 was a tough year for me. If you all remember my posts, I spent the first few weeks of 2014 (and the last month of 2013) living in a friend’s converted garage with my little family while we waited for our house to close. If that wasn’t bad enough, we found out only two weeks after we moved in that my husband’s job was in jeopardy. He lost it a few months later and spent seven months in the job search process. It was a terribly dark time, and my family is still recovering. However, last year I learned all about trust, about putting your trust in the wrong things, about false securities, and false witnesses. While it was a rough lesson, I’m glad I learned it.
But this post isn’t supposed to be about what I learned last year; it’s supposed to look forward with hope to the new year and explain my theme word of : reform.
When I think of reform, I visualize a lump of clay–maybe even colorful clay, like Play-Doh–just sitting there waiting to be molded. I remember when I started junior high, and we had counseling day. On counseling day, the guidance counselors made their rounds through all the eighth grade classes and helped the students lay out their class schedules from that point until graduation. I was so excited–finally I’d be able to have some control over my life, at least as far as the classes I took for the next four years. But when the counselor came to me and asked what I wanted to do when I grew up, I was speechless–I had no idea. I remember coming home that day stressed and overwhelmed by the plethora of options I had before me. But I remember my mother, shrugging it off as she said, “Just pick something. It’s not like it’s set in stone. You’ll be surprised how many times you have to re-invent yourself, even in adulthood.”
I believe I’ve come to yet another one of these crossroads. Once again, I’m the frightened little eighth-grader who doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up, the little girl who places her future in the hands of her magic eight-ball. But now, it’s time, I think, to reinvent myself again, to take back my future from fate and place it in the hands of the Almighty God. I need growth and change in all aspects of my life: physical, financial, spiritual, emotional, and the truth is, I know it’s probably going to be hard…very hard, and yes, it may even be torturous. But if 2014 taught me anything, its this: what is of value is worth fighting for.
