Top 5 Blog Post of 2014: #3
I (Trisha) was 20-years old when Justin and I got married. I was deeply in love with this gorgeous man that asked me to be forever his. He was strong, funny, smart (did I say gorgeous?) and most attractive of all-he had a passion for the Lord.
As we approach our 19th wedding anniversary, I can’t believe how much we’ve changed, how much our family has changed and yet how much has stayed the same. From the moment I first met Justin, I knew when he loved something he loved it with all that he had. Basketball and Michael Jordan were some of his first loves. When he fell in love with me it was no different, he went “all out” in some of the most insane ways!
This leads me to the first of four things that every wife needs from her husband:
1. Pursuit
One of the things that made me fall in love with Justin was the way he pursued me. In college he drove three hours to my hometown just to bring me a gift and we weren’t even dating. When he proposed to me, although it didn’t quite go as he planned, every detail had me in mind.
I seriously could write for hours about the insane ways this man has pursued me but here is my point. It wasn’t just about what he was doing to pursue me but that he was simply pursuing me. When seasons of our marriage got hard Justin would choose to pursue me and in doing so, built a sacred trust. This kind of trust communicates to your wife that no one else on the planet can fill the role your wife does. When you pursue your wife you allow her to know that you value her and who she is matters. Pursuit keeps love alive.
2. Prayer
Guys, I know you are probably rolling your eyes… it’s okay. I can take it; but seriously read this. Maybe you’re at a place where you feel like you can never do enough, say enough or provide enough to make your wife happy. A lot of husbands feel that way…and prayer changes that!
When you take the time to pray for your wife God will bring the craziest things to your mind. He will prompt you to say things, do things and provide things that you could never dream up on your own. He knows your wife better than anyone else so when you choose to pray for her you are allowing Him the opportunity to give you intimate details of your wife’s heart.
If you really want to get wild and crazy pray with her! Trust me it changes a lot more than you think. When you pray with your wife and allow her to pour her heart out to God you are building sacred trust. When you pray over her you create a moment of intimacy, which means to be fully known. Prayer is the pathway to intimacy. There’s nothing more attractive to your wife than a trustworthy husband that knows her intimately emotionally, spiritually and physically.
3. Engagement
Have you ever been in a meeting where a person is talking, and talking and talking that you just stop listening? This happens in marriage all the time. Regardless if you’re a stay-at-home parent, neurosurgeon or pastor we all have daily commitments that demand our time and attention. We have our electronics, social media and TV shows. We have countless volunteer opportunities to serve other people. It’s easy to get distracted.
What becomes dangerous in a marriage is when we become hard of hearing from all the noise of our jam-packed life and we stop listening to those who matter the most. There will always be this tension to engage with the right people and the right things. It’s a balancing act. You have to daily choose to be engaged with your wife or other people and things will distract you. We give our attention to what matters most to us. Show your wife she matters.
4. Leadership
Leadership isn’t about being on a power trip or having all the answers. I love what Paul writes about leadership.
1 Corinthians 11:3 (ESV) 3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
Your wife doesn’t need you to be a perfect leader. Your wife needs you to lead with the knowledge that you are a part of a sacred relationship with Jesus at the center of your life and love. God has given you the gift of Holy Spirit to HELP guide you. God’s leadership plan isn’t about authority for the sake of authority; but rather learning to lead with a selfless love in which those with whom He has in trusted you will also want to be a part of this sacred relationship.
Those are four things that I know I need from my husband. What would you add to the list?
