Pictures in Search of a Caption

Eight Maimed In Polar Express Derailing
The elf could only stare as the evil iPhone closed in for the kill
“Well, the recipe said ‘300 degrees for 30 minutes’ so I figured ‘600 degrees for 15′ would take care of business.”
Reviews were mixed for Stephen King’s seasonal shocker, “A Christmas Misery”
“Oh! My bad. I thought you said ‘gimme a HAND’.”
The medical community cheered the first-ever chile pepper skin graft
“Remember,” said Smokey the Middle-Earth Bear, “only YOU can prevent forest elf fires...