Sale Time is Here, But Not so Fast: Consider these Questions Before You Buy

Last May, Man Repeller suggested that you ask yourself five important questions before resolving to lose your fork to the soil that is a cash register. The powers that be are now speculating Black Friday’s power to eclipse any other sale season, which might lead to consumerist behavior so manic, so powerful, so downright gluttonous, one might begin to think we’re living in a pre-recessional 2008.

Just last Wednesday, in fact, Net-a-Porter’s site crashed due to unprecedented demand for discounts. It’s great — all of it — but with that excess spending come excess (and often otiose) stuff. So here are five questions to ask yourself before you dig your teeth in as initially posed last Spring. Come January 1st, you should feel confident that you appreciate all the tagged clothing still loitering in your closet.

1. Can you wear the garment in question at least three ways with the pre-existing contents of your closet? (I had to veto this for inability to answer yes. I did not, however, veto these.)

1a. From the same family is the question of whether you already have a garment that serves the same exact function, which is why I can’t go through with the purchase of effectively any pair of jeans. (Expect maybe these ones.)

2. Would you have bought the garment in question if you could have afforded it before the sale? (This cape is i-n-IN for that reason.)

3. Are you trying to dress a body that is not yours? Often times, I forget that I am not Emanuelle Alt. I mean, I don’t forget, but I do remember that low rise drop crotch pants just don’t do for me what they’ve done for her.

4. Are you sure this isn’t the FOMO spending? Fashion FOMO is a very real thing. I occasionally find that I’ve spent so much time on a given website that I don’t want to leave said site without feeling like I’ve satisfied a duty. This “duty” typically manifests as a purchase and leads to my buying something. Often, my laziness lashes out and I never return it, thus leaving me at the intersection of without money but with feckless loincloth. Sometimes, not always, it’s better to just walk away.

5. Are you trying to convince yourself you need something? You know, when you really, really love something, justification is rarely necessary.

With that said, F the rules! Here’s an extensive list of sales you should consider while you try to pull yourself out of yesterday’s food coma.

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Luisa Via Roma be like, “Take an extra 20% off merchandise that is already 50% off and feel good about your new Dolce and Gabbana heels.”

Forward by Elyse Walker is offering 50% off and there is a lot of Isabel Marant to go around.

30% all full price stuff at J. Crew and an additional 40% off all sale merchandi$$$e.

Matchesfashion and Moda Operandi both have you in mind with HALF OFF their spoils.

Another 30% off all styles at Asos with the checkout code TGIBF. There is a 0% chance I am not getting these jeans.

50% off at SSENSE.com. Hi, Valentino tangos.

15% off everything at Pixie Market, where it appears this dress is still in stock.

You can also get a thematic 30% off everything that is black from Nasty Gal. Emo.

Need Supply is doing its part, too, offering an additional 30% off all sale items with the checkout code EXTRA30. Not sure if that is a riff on my ability to obtain this dress for cheaper or also an allusion to the pounds added to my waist line last night.

Madewell be like, hey! Here’s 25% off your entire purchase with the code GIFTON. Here’s a question: will a tech-savvy mother in Connecticut one day name her son Gifton?

Shopbop is giving you a moderate 25% off your orders with the code GOBIG14. But you can also just peruse their expansive rolodex of sublime, already reduced merchandise.

The Corner, a sister site to Yoox where you can find so much Olympia Le Tan, is offering an extra 20% off sale merchandise with the code CYBER14.

Meanwhile, Yoox, too, is slashing prices like they’re necks and delivering an additional 20% off. This is precisely how I was able to secure a black Jil Sander coat that I have been thinking about since its $4,000 price tag first slapped me across the face last Fall. I paid $840 –which, I realize, is not cheap but you know, right, that when it comes to sales it’s not about the money you spend but rather the money you save.

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Now, by the rules of girlfriendhood, you should know that there is no greater feeling than that of sharing your recent purchases so, lay it on us! What in the good name of the Mayflower did you get/are you getting/do you need our consultation on?