Ask lunaKM – I Need Full-Time, He Wants Part-Time
Okay.. So I’m a little in a dd/lg relationship. My dom enjoys the play, but only part-time. He doesn’t want full-time because he finds it stressful. I have trouble telling him how badly I need it. I need a 24/7 dom. I’m unable to do daily tasks. I crashed my car today because I couldn’t see through my tears, under the impression I was a bad girl when we last had a session, 3 nights before. With this background information, how can I fix it?
The hard truth (with what little information I have) is that you can’t fix it. It’s clear to me from your message that he wants a part-time dynamic. You need a full-time dynamic. That’s a huge incompatibility. You can’t make him switch to 24/7 if he doesn’t want it and you can’t make yourself be part-time if you want more. Now, if you discussed moving to full-time in the beginning of your relationship and he agreed to it, perhaps it is time to bring it up again. But if he’s held his ground the whole time, you need to realize that things will not change.
But what I can’t figure out from your message is that you say you want 24/7 but you can’t do daily tasks. I’ll be the first to remind you that 24/7 means everyday, all day and will definitely come with tasks; often everyday. So that is contradictory to your desire for full-time submission. If you mean you want play more often – that’s not necessarily a 24/7 relationship either and you can certainly bring that up with your Dominant the next time you have a moment. Asking for more playtime and seeing if he desires the same isn’t the same as him only wanting a part-time relationship.
Finding compatible partners is hard, and working with the one you have might be your current situation – but you can’t make him do more than he’s willing to do and it’s clear you aren’t happy if you are seeking advice elsewhere. So look inward and decide if you want to try to compromise with him or if the relationship isn’t able to be saved. It’s a hard decision but a worthy one. Yours and his happiness depends on it.
And for goodness sake, don’t drive when you are crying so hard you can’t see! Pull over and wait until all of your focus is on driving, for goodness sake, or you could injure more than your car!
Do you have a question or would like to get some advice? All questions are anonymous. Ask lunaKM!
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