Lazy Hate

Does anyone wake up bright and early only to say to themselves, “I know what, today I’m going to find someone new to hate. That will be a fun day.  Hmm, let’s see.  What’ll it be?

“I’ve got it.  Today I’ll go after drivers. But that’s such a big category – lots of possibilities. Have to narrow that down. Should I hate everyone who cuts me off in traffic?  Too many.  What about someone who dives across my lane veering 90 degrees to make a turn? Strong potential.  But they might have a good excuse with the bad signage around here.  Maybe the person who pulls up two yards behind me, flashes their brights so I’ll move over when it’s obvious there’s a car on my right and a 4×4 in front of me and nowhere for me to go.  Good candidate – unless he’s driving his very pregnant and now- in-labor wife to a hospital.  Of course, there’s always that odd duck trudging 50 mph on a 70 speed limit freeway.  Who doled out that guy’s license?

“In fact, all these bad drivers got licensed by someone. Aha! Now I’ve really got it.  The incompetent nincompoop who grants the licenses – there would be the right person to hate.  But how could I ever find them?  Every single lousy driver I encounter was probably licensed by a different person.  Finding each of them sounds too much like work.

“Guess I’ll just stick to hating all those rotten drivers.  Ahhh, that feels so good.”

Nobody really thinks like that, do they?