Nancy Omeara's Blog
March 2, 2017
Useless Hate
There are so, so, so many things to hate in this world if you have a mind to:
Bad latte.
(How can someone mess up an espresso and milk?)
Restaurants that don’t stock the exact sweetener you like in your tea.
(And yet, you wonder that I carry my own little sweeteners in my purse?)
“Your” size is different from one brand of clothing to the next – can’t these companies get standardized?
(Actually, I do kind of hate that, though I’ve never written a letter of complaint.)
People who get paid to predict the weather in areas where it changes every few hours (London? They might as well say, “Your guess is as good as mine. Take an umbrella.”) or the climate is so predictable you could do the forecast yourself. (Santa Barbara? How does a meteorologist justify a salary?)
Fun things to hate – even if kind of impotent.
(You’re invited to add to the list.)
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February 28, 2017
101 With Nancy Omeara
I volunteered on a religious tolerance hot line for more than 5 years.
Many of the things I heard spoken of as true in the more than 5,000 calls I answered, seemed in my opinion, to be obviously false.
After talking to so many people, I started to think I might have some information and ideas that could be useful to others.
So I started a book, and once I got the “mean, green and ugly” idea I decided to continue, because I liked that beginning and wanted to see where it could go.
Years later, one false start (you don’t want to know) I finally got the text professionally edited, nicely typeset and hopefully made into a more direct, concise book that is both interesting and I hope sometimes enlightening.
Question: You seem to think that “hate” doesn’t just happen, that it is caused?
Yes, I do. I’m not talking about hate that makes sense or is just a feeling, ‘I hate purple.” That’s a feeling. Or even, “I hate to see people being taken advantage of.” That’s rational.
“Created hate” is the kind where facts are manipulated, some items omitted, others given more weight than how they actually tip the scales.
That’s the kind of “caused” hate that makes me see red.
Question: Is hate necessarily bad?
No. Never mistake destructive hate with transformative/invigorating hate.
There are so many worthwhile things to hate – (besides the obvious – prejudice, incompetence, illiteracy …) and so many examples where hatred of things that are just simply wrong has been used to change things for the better.
Obviously, I’m sort of on the alert for such, but still, examples are not hard to find.
A few of the good things to hate that people work hard to change:
Apartheid, slavery, unequal pay for the same work, unequal job opportunities, so much more.
In fact, it is my opinion, that it is just possible there are still some things in this world that it is a good idea to hate, and to take action to change:
Gender and racial discrimination, religious discrimination, unequal educational opportunities, unsafe public health situations, dangerous vehicles-roads-buildings …
There’s plenty to hate out there – for constructive reasons.
Now I have a question. What do you, who are reading this, thinks? I’m interested in hearing from you.
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Rising Above Hate
On October 2, 2006, a shooting occurred at the West Nickel Mines School, an Amish one-room schoolhouse in the Old Order Amish community of Nickel Mines, a village in Bart Township of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.[1][2][3]
Gunman Charles Carl Roberts IV took hostages and shot ten girls (aged 6–13), killing five, before committing suicide in the schoolhouse.[1][2][3][4]
How the Amish Responded
On the day of the shooting, a grandfather of one of the murdered Amish girls was heard warning some young relatives not to hate the killer, saying, “We must not think evil of this man.”[15] Another Amish father noted, “He had a mother and a wife and a soul and now he’s standing before a just God.”[16]
Jack Meyer, a member of the Brethren community living near the Amish in Lancaster County, explained: “I don’t think there’s anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss in that way but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts.”[15]
A Roberts family spokesman said an Amish neighbor comforted the Roberts family hours after the shooting and extended forgiveness to them.[17] Amish community members visited and comforted Roberts’ widow, parents, and parents-in-law. One Amish man held Roberts’ sobbing father in his arms, reportedly for as long as an hour, to comfort him.
Amish community members visited and comforted Roberts’ widow, parents, and parents-in-law. One Amish man held Roberts’ sobbing father in his arms, reportedly for as long as an hour, to comfort him.[18] The Amish also set up a charitable fund for the family of the shooter.
The Amish also set up a charitable fund for the family of the shooter.[19] About 30 members of the Amish community attended Roberts’ funeral,
About 30 members of the Amish community attended Roberts’ funeral,[18] and Marie Roberts, the widow of the killer, was one of the few outsiders invited to the funeral of one of the victims.[20]
Excerpted from Wikipedia Article “Amish School Shooting”. Read the full article here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amish_school_shooting
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February 27, 2017
Lazy Hate
Does anyone wake up bright and early and say to themselves, “I know, today I’m going to find someone new to hate. That will be a fun day. Hmm, let’s see. Who will it be?
“I’ve got it. Today I’ll go after drivers. But that’s such a big category – lots of possibilities. Have to narrow that down. Should I hate everyone who cuts me off in traffic? Too many.
“What about someone who dives across my lane veering 90 degrees to make a turn? Strong potential. But they might have a good excuse with the bad signage around here. Maybe the person who pulls up two yards behind me, flashes their brights so I’ll move over when it’s obvious there’s a car on my right and a 4×4 in front of me and nowhere for me to go. Good candidate – unless he’s driving his very pregnant and now- n-labor wife to a hospital. Of course, there’s always that odd duck trudging 50 mph on a 70 speed limit freeway. Who doled out that guy’s license?
“In fact, all these bad drivers got licensed by someone. Aha! Now I’ve got it. The incompetent nincompoop who grants the licenses – that would be the right person to hate.
“But how could I ever find them? Every single lousy driver I encounter was probably licensed by a different person. Finding each of them sounds too much like work.
“Guess I’ll just stick to hating all those rotten drivers. Ahhh, that feels so good.”
Nobody really thinks like that, do they?
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June 7, 2013
Lazy Hate
Does anyone wake up bright and early only to say to themselves, “I know what, today I’m going to find someone new to hate. That will be a fun day. Hmm, let’s see. What’ll it be?
“I’ve got it. Today I’ll go after drivers. But that’s such a big category – lots of possibilities. Have to narrow that down. Should I hate everyone who cuts me off in traffic? Too many. What about someone who dives across my lane veering 90 degrees to make a turn? Strong potential. But they might have a good excuse with the bad signage around here. Maybe the person who pulls up two yards behind me, flashes their brights so I’ll move over when it’s obvious there’s a car on my right and a 4×4 in front of me and nowhere for me to go. Good candidate – unless he’s driving his very pregnant and now- in-labor wife to a hospital. Of course, there’s always that odd duck trudging 50 mph on a 70 speed limit freeway. Who doled out that guy’s license?
“In fact, all these bad drivers got licensed by someone. Aha! Now I’ve really got it. The incompetent nincompoop who grants the licenses – there would be the right person to hate. But how could I ever find them? Every single lousy driver I encounter was probably licensed by a different person. Finding each of them sounds too much like work.
“Guess I’ll just stick to hating all those rotten drivers. Ahhh, that feels so good.”
Nobody really thinks like that, do they?
May 30, 2013
Is Hate Ever Not Dangerous? A Look at its Cooler Side
My upcoming book is about hate and how destructive it can be when gone unnoticed. But there can be a good side to hate that I thought I’d share with you today, if only to be playful about an otherwise “threatening” subject.
Hate doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. Exercising one’s hate muscle now and then can be a healthy release. So, so, so many things to hate in this world if you’ve a mind to:
Bad latte.
(How can someone mess up an espresso and milk?)
Restaurants that don’t stock the exact sweetener you like in your tea.
(And yet, you wonder that I carry my own little plastic container of Splenda in my purse at all times?)
“Your” size in every brand of clothing and shoes is different – can’t these companies get standardized?
(Actually, I do kind of hate that, though I’ve never written a letter of complaint.)
People who get paid to predict the weather in areas where it changes every few hours (London? They might as well say, “Your guess is as good as mine. Take an umbrella.”) or the climate is so predictable you could do the forecast yourself (Santa Barbara? How does a meteorologist justify a salary?.
Fun things to hate – even if kind of impotent.
You’re invited to add to the list!
May 16, 2013
Why Hate is Actually Created
You seem to think that “hate” doesn’t just happen, that it is caused?
Yes, I do. I’m not talking about hate that makes sense or is just a feeling, ‘I hate purple.” That’s a feeling. “I hate people who take advantage of others’ vulnerabilities.” That’s rational.
“Created hate” is the kind where facts are manipulated, some items omitted, others given more weight than how they actually tip the scales.
That’s the kind of “caused” hate that makes me see red.
See what you think after you read what I have to say. I’m interested in hearing from you.
Why “Creating Hate?”
Why would anyone write a book about “hate” — especially “Creating Hate”?
Good question.
I volunteered on a religious tolerance hotline and many of the things I heard accepted as true by callers were so obviously, in my opinion, false. There are generalities about: Catholics, Jews, Lutherans, born-again right-wing Christians, “new religions” (isn’t any religion less than 3,000 years old, relatively new?), and there are accusations such as, “everybody knows” and ideas like, “this is just the way they are” and other unwarranted concepts. There is list much longer than this.
Over the course of five years and after answering more than 5,000 calls, I developed some thoughts about how some of the concerns that seemed so groundless came into existence (not via a bolt of lightning — that’s for sure), so thought I should put them in a book for others to read and ruminate on.
