A Walk in the Parka

A very good test to tell if you’re an adult yet:

Do you have a winter coat?

A) Yes

B) No

Answer key: If you chose mostly As, congratulations! You are an adult. If you chose mostly Bs, you are Peter Pan!

Here’s the thing, Peter: green tights will only keep you warm for so long. The sweater that you’ve been layering over a thermal and under some flimsy leather jacket is doing nothing save for giving your grandmother yet another reason to send you weird, all-caps texts about how she’s worried about you, then signing it, “Love, Grandma” — as if she were some stranger you gave your number to at a bar who cared very much about your vegetable intake and temperature.

Though to her credit, you never know.

It’s easy to put off the winter coat search primarily because it always feels too soon. November’s already 6 days in and despite the alarming abundance of Christmas decorations, you’re probably only just starting to officially retire the last of your ambiguously-summery clothes. This is the month for telling everyone you’re going to start going to the gym then not going, for drinking pumpkin beers on Sundays and praying your neighbor will rake leaves into a pile that you can obliterate. It’s not for coats! There’s no snow! Winter isn’t real, it can’t be.

But it is, Peter. And it’s coming for you.

This is where the parka comes in. It’s a season-easer. Parkas do everything a “coat” is supposed to do: protect you from the elements, seal-in body heat, look nice, cover up a weird outfit, offer a place for your hands when you’re feeling awkward, etc., but a parka doesn’t feel as dramatic as a coat. Buying a parka isn’t a whole big To-Do. Coats feel like a process — they often require that you think long and hard about them; that you factor in who you’re “going to be” that winter, or if you’re prepared to sleep in a yurt for a month or two to subsidize said purchase.

A parka, however, is easy. There’s none of that stress, no need for yurt-sleeping. No feeling of lifelong commitment to a particular style, although Aritzia, Canadian castle of clothes and parkas, has a whole assortment divided into 5 different categories (classic, city, military, expedition and eco) in case you like options but loathe overwhelming menus and too many decisions, like at the Cheesecake Factory.

The best thing about parkas is that you can wear one now without looking like, “Whoa hey winter kid, what’s up?” At the same time, they’re made for both the season we’re in and the one that comes next, which makes you, dear Peter…an adult.

In partnership with ARITZIA