Ask lunaKM – How Do I Explore and Grow While I’m Single?
Hi!,
I am new to BDSM and Kink and was just wondering if it were possible to try and learn and explore and grow without a Dom by my side at least for the moment? How is a submissive able to train and prepare for her future Dom? I am not out in my local community and really only have a presence online but even that is limited as I come from a very conservative family and live in a small conservative town. Any advise would be very helpful. Thank You.
Hello eager to learn,
There are a lot of things a single submissive can do in preparation for a relationship, especially a D/s one. A lot of what a submissive learns, explores and incorporated training has to do with making you the best possible person you can be. This means personal enrichment and behavior modification. Yeah I know of many people who sit down with New Year’s Resolutions to make changes in themselves and then not do it for very long. But we can do it and I’m sure you can think of at least one thing you’d like to improve about yourself without much thought. Pick up some self help books or a counselor or trainer to help you with those things. Improving yourself will go a long way to being appealing to a partner.
More on personal development:
Creating a Personal Protocol
The Importance of Taking Your Time
Defining Your Personal Submission eCourse
Ok, sure. I know you really meant how do you learn how to be submissive or about the BDSM play you are interested in. You say you aren’t out in your local community of kinksters so it does hamper what you can do in this area. You can do a lot of reading and talking about BDSM and submission. You can explore your thoughts and fantasies through journaling or blogging. Here’s a reading list for novice submissives that I highly recommend. If you are so inclined you can find an online Dominant to taste a bit of roleplay or relationship stuff from the safety of your computer screen. But that might not be all you crave. I’d suggest you find a local munch and attend at least once. Get to know the group and ask them for recommendations of people that are safe to play with and then ask them to explore things with you. You can do BDSM play without sex if you feel comfortable doing that. You can explore the feelings of submission and service also without sex being involved.
What else would you suggest for “eager to learn”?
Do you have a question or would like to get some advice? All questions are anonymous. Ask lunaKM!
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