Start Improving your Likability Quotient

I’m sure you’ve heard someone at work say, “I would rather be respected than liked.” I don’t know who started that thinking, but it's misguided. The truth is, we don’t have to choose between respectability and likability. Being liked will boost your success in life and the workplace, but not everyone will like you. That’s not humanly possible. Regardless, it is possible to be the type of person others want to be around because you make the effort to be likable.

To be that person, here are three suggestions:

To be likable, like others:
It’s human nature to like those who like us. We also know it’s easy to like some people more than others—that’s why it’s normal to have cliques at work where some are included and others are left out. The problem is, those outside the clique get the message: "You don't like me."  So what do you do? Make it your aim to connect with everyone, not just the ones you are naturally drawn to. I know that can be challenging, but when you build better relationships with more people you will have a higher likability quotient.

Ask how you can help:
Let me tell you about my wife, someone who has a high likability quotient. Everyone who knows her likes her—a lot. One reason is that she is always quick to jump in and help if someone has a need, big or small. In fact, you won’t have to ask her for help because she’s going to offer it first. I’m exaggerating a bit, but to make a point: you can’t help everyone all the time, but if you want a stellar likability quotient, be that person who asks, “How can I help?” If you see a co-worker that's overwhelmed, you may not be able to help him or her with their work, but you can ask, "Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

Be positive:
Let’s face it, no one likes to be around negative people. We may empathize with their problems but we can only take so much. If you want to raise your likability quotient, develop a reputation for being solution-oriented and for taking action to improve the situation at hand. Let others badmouth the company while you put your energy into doing your best work to improve your company. Let others gossip about a co-worker while you are busy connecting with them and offering help when needed. If you want to raise your likability quotient, be positive about what you do and who you do it with.

—Alan Allard, Executive Coach