Chapter 2: The Calm Before the Storm
The sunlight slipped through the window and Bill rolled over in bed and glanced at his wife, Cassie. With the first glimpse of a beautiful morning, Bill couldn’t believe his best friend would be buried later that day.
He silently wondered how life had gotten to that point, when just a few short months before; they had an entire lifetime ahead of them. As he laid in bed, he thought of his own mortality, and realized that it would only be a matter of time before he met the same fate as Nate.
Cassie reached over, gently laid her arm across his chest, and asked, “How are you holding up?”
“I’ve definitely had better days to look forward to,” he replied.
“I know. I can’t even imagine what Melissa must be going through right now. Promise you won’t leave me until we’re old and gray,” she asked him hopefully.
“I’ll try. But do you think Nate ever actually thought he’d be dead at thirty-six? We all think of dying once in a while, but it’s always far off in some distant future. We never think that it could be today instead of tomorrow.”
“We can’t predict the future. But we can control this moment, here and now,” replied Cassie.
“Can we?” he responded.
“I have control of this,” she said as she leaned over and softly kissed him on the lips.
“God I love you, do you know that? Do you really know how much I love you?” he whispered.
“I’ve never doubted it,” she answered.
Bill pulled Cassie closer to him and kissed her again.
* * *
Dan sat quietly in the living room of his penthouse apartment, while he slowly drank his coffee. Dan thought of the times that he and Nate shared over the years, wondering where time had gone. He looked around his stylish apartment and thought how nice everything was, but couldn’t get past the fact that something was missing. He started to fixate on the things he didn’t have.
Dan thought about his relationship history; the loves he had lost, the marriage he almost had. At that time, he still had things in his life that he wanted to accomplish, and a wife and kids would have only held him back from accomplishing all that he had planned. He could have been a husband and dad, but he had other dreams to chase and catch before he could play catch in the backyard of some suburban utopia.
He had his friends, but at that point in their lives, most of them were married and had families of their own.
Dan had a few women that he saw fairly regularly, but they were all about ten years younger and looking for a good time, which he was more than willing to provide. They would go out on the town, hit the clubs and then go back to his place for a night of hedonistic pleasure.
Before Nate was diagnosed with cancer, that was enough for Dan. He didn’t want commitment. He didn’t want a ball and chain hanging around his ankle, telling him what he could and couldn’t do. It was his life and he was going to get all of the pleasure he could out of it, and it didn’t matter what it cost him.
Dan watched his parents fight and stay married for years in an abusive and loveless marriage “for the kids.” But in the end, everyone was miserable.
In high school, Dan seriously dated Shannon, a beautiful blonde cheerleader, and he thought he really loved her. Then on his eighteenth birthday, his father took him outside, opened a couple of beers, and shared his “wisdom” with him.
“Dan, you’re a man now. The country says you can go die on foreign soil and vote for the president, but you can’t have a fuckin’ drink. Well fuck that,” he said as he passed one of the beers into Dan’s hand. “Life doesn’t give a shit about you, son. It will kick you when you’re down and piss on you when you try to get up. Look at me. Do I look happy to you? I’m tired, and all I can think about these days is what could have been different if I’d understood that lesson earlier in life. You need to take life by the balls and never let go. This is your life, and it’s the only one you’re ever going to get. You need to do whatever it takes to be successful and not let yourself get dragged down by some girlie. Women will suck the life right out of you. They’re all fun and shit until you get married, then they change into the old ball and chain, holding you back from being the man you’re supposed to become. Your mother has ruined more dreams for me than I could ever share with you.”
“Why didn’t you just do what you wanted to do anyway?” Dan asked.
“Because you can’t. Life won’t let you. Society won’t let you. Women won’t let you. Eve got Adam to bite that damn apple and we’ve been paying for it ever since. I bit the apple, son, and I’ve been paying for it ever since. Dan, promise me you won’t bite that damn apple, no matter what.”
But eighteen years later, as Dan’s father’s words echoed through his head, he looked at his empty house and thought of the life Nate had. The loving wife. Great kids. Happiness. He never knew anyone happier than Nate, and he never felt more miserable in his entire life than he did in that moment, sitting alone in his father’s dream.
* * *
Joe waited impatiently at Starbucks for his venti latte to be called by the server behind the counter. The black Armani suit he had on matched the worn years of his life. After his name was called, he collected his latte and limped to a nearby table and sat down.
Joe was a functioning alcoholic, and no one he worked with truly knew what he did away from the office. He chased a dream that was out of reach for most and came within inches of catching it. Yet his own cockiness, which helped make him such a great player, was also what cost him his career, as well as his life.
After the crash, Joe passed the time with a job he could tolerate and booze to numb the pain. His wife Jill left him about four years after his career ended. He thought it was because of the money, but in reality, it had more to do with his drinking. The last words she said to him as she walked out of their home haunted him to that day: “I can’t stay with a man who loves the bottle more than me. I hope you find peace someday.”
With all that happened, Joe had found peace to be elusive and didn’t know what to do with his life. In the wee hours of the morning, as the alcohol penetrated deep into his soul, he stared down the barrel of a loaded gun more than once; ready to end his misery once and for all.
But each time, for a reason he couldn’t quite put his finger on, his tortured soul fought back, telling him that there is hope and life yet to be found.
The sobering realization of Nate’s death had him rethinking what he had done, and what he had failed to do.
For three months he watched Nate fight every day for his life. Joe wanted desperately to know that type of resolve so he could somehow move past his demons.
As he took a sip of his latte, Joe wondered what made Nate fight so hard, when he so often just wanted to give up. And the anxiety that haunted him once again began to rise.
* * *
In a small, one bedroom apartment, Tom McKinley sat and stared at a picture of his four-year-old daughter, Tabitha. While tears welled up in his eyes, he couldn’t help but think about what her life would be like without him, the fate that Nate’s children faced that day. And yet he knew, in a way, she would be going on without him.
The ink had been dry on the divorce papers for about a month, and he agreed to joint custody to try and keep Tabitha’s life as normal as possible through the mess caused by her parents.
But the loss he felt that day was sometimes more than he could bear. First, Tori filed for divorce so she could be with her boss and lover.
Then he had to share his daughter with the man who had taken so much of his life away. And now, he prepared to bury one of his best friends. “Why does life have to be so cruel,” he asked himself. “What have I ever done to deserve so much misery?”
All Tom wanted to do was be a good husband and father, and he was. He was always home on time for dinner and spent quality time with Tori and Tabitha. As a result, his career took a back seat, never getting the promotion or big raise because it was more important for him to be with his family, and that was alright.
And for a while, it was alright for Tori as well. But then friends of theirs started collecting more of life’s trappings. Bigger houses, luxury cars, designer clothes, and she started to want more of those things. Tom tried for a while, but the credit card was maxed out and the new car payment was weighing them down, drowning them in a sea of debt.
As a result of the debt, Tom took a second job to help make ends meet. It was at that time that Tori’s boss, Paul, started taking an interest in her, and she didn’t even stop to think before she jumped into bed with him.
Tom reached over and grabbed his ringing cell phone. “Hello,” he answered.
It was Tori on the other end of the call. “Tom, you’re a week late with the child support,” she answered.
“Tori, don’t start that shit today. Not today for God’s sake,” he replied.
“Is today Nate’s funeral?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he replied.
“I’m sorry, Tom. I really am. I forgot. Please send my condolences to Melissa.”
“I will. Let me talk to Tabitha. I really need to hear her voice right now.”
“Sure, let me get her.”
Tom sat shaking his head, waiting for Tabitha to get on the phone. “Hi daddy,” Tabitha exclaimed as she gets on the phone.
“How’s my princess?” Tom asked excitedly. “I’m ok daddy, but I miss you.”
“I miss you too, sweetheart.” He replied as a tear rolled down his cheek. “But I’ll see you in a couple of days, and we’ll do a bunch of stuff together.”
“Like what?” she asked.
“Well, we’ll have a tea party, and go to the movies, and play Candyland. Sound good?”
“Sounds good, daddy. I love you.”
“I love you too, Tabitha. I love you too. Bye.”
Tabitha said goodbye and handed the phone back to Tori. “Take care of yourself,” she told Tom.
“I will. Give Tabitha a kiss for me, will ya?” “I will. Goodbye, Tom.”
“Goodbye,” he said and hung up the phone. Tom laid back on the couch, put his hands over his face and cried.
Read Chapter 3: Time to Say Goodbye
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