Three Kinds of First Impressions Leaders Make: The Sponge, the General, and the Magnet

Do you want to be the type of leader who makes a great impression the first time you meet someone? Would you like to have loyal followers because they like you and trust you? If so, stick with me for the rest of this article.

The majority of my readers are church leaders: pastors, church staff, and lay leaders. But these principles of first impression leadership apply to any leader in any setting. And the first impression you give sets the stage for your future leadership, for better or worse.

Here then are the three types of leaders. The metaphors I use are self-evident.

The Sponge. This leader is self-absorbed. All he wants to talk about is himself. She rarely asks about the other person. He loves to have the spotlight on himself, and gets antsy when it’s not on him. The tragedy of this first impression is that these leaders rarely think they are sponges. If people suggest that, they get defensive. “But people really like me,” they say in defense. This person might have a significant audience, but people who really get to know them think they are full of themselves. Sponges really do not make a good first impression one-on-one with others.
The General. This leader is task-driven. She really does not ask about others because she is so focused on getting the job done. His first impression is not positive. While Generals don’t really want to talk about themselves, they are obsessed with the task at hand. People who interact with them have a first impression that they are projects being used as a means to an end. Other people really don’t feel like Generals care about them. The first impression is usually negative: “What a jerk,” people often respond.
The Magnet. This leader makes great first impressions. She begins conversations by talking about the other person or persons. She is like a magnet; people are drawn to her and often seek her advice. People believe that Magnets really care about them. They are the kinds of leaders who not only have a following; they have a truly loyal following. Their EQ (emotional quotient) is really high. Magnets not only make positive first impressions; they are typically great long-term leaders.

So what if you are a leader who has been in an organization for a while, and you have been operating out of the General or Sponge mode? Have you lost your opportunity to make positive first impressions and be a Magnet? The bad news is that it will take longer to repair the damage that you have inflicted as a Sponge or a General. The good news is, if you truly become a Magnet and your concern for others is genuine, the first impression perceptions can reverse over time. Of course, it is best to have a positive first impression rather than do damage control.

By the way, these are not merely secular leadership principles; they are thoroughly biblical. The Apostle Paul noted in Philippians 2:3-4: “Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” (HCSB).

Let me hear from you.

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