How to Get Dressed Without Getting Dressed

The industry dedicated to getting dressed no longer really wants anyone to get dressed. For the past few months young designers and their corresponding fans have been suggesting we run around as though we’re about to go to the gym, starting with the track pant, then the sneaker, pool slides, sports bras as crop tops and then full on jock (see Alexander Wang for H&M).

But in order to get to the gym, one theoretically has to get out of bed. Isn’t that why no one actually goes?

Let’s take it one step further, then, and avoid getting dressed altogether.

Just this morning we discussed whether or not 25 is the “new” 21. Whatever your stance, at the quarter-century mark there’s an arbitrary line that’s drawn (though the argument remains over who crosses it, and when). The unanimous agreement, however, is that one can truly call themselves an adult — whether that’s at 18, 21, 25 or 39 — when they have a really nice pair of pajamas to wear to bed. Here’s what doesn’t count: a tattered class of ’06 t-shirt from a random school that a friend’s cousin attended.

This means that step one is to conquer the holy-shit-I’m-not-a-kid crisis and buy yourself a nice set of sleepers. Let’s do this together:

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NOW! Before you have an existential panic and start checking your head for grays, the whole point is to essentially be lazy, so breathe easy. This is basically teenager-late-for-a-test dressing. Feel better? Ok.

So you’ve got your pajamas on because you’ve worn them to bed. Your alarm goes off — I know, Leandra already sleep-walked you through this — but now all you have to do is stand up, brush your teeth, wash your face, and add a blazer.

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Insider tip: if the blazer is large enough and the weather hasn’t reached its peak, feel free to say ta ta to a bra. Or at least go with one that’s soft enough to sleep in, or malleable enough that you can put it on under your shirt. Like you’re camping!

Now, if your pajamas come with pants, theoretically, you’re done. If they’re a shorts-set, and it’s cold, I am pretty sure you can handle putting on pants. Just bend over, grab the nearest pair. The weird thing about pajama shirts — or maybe it’s not weird at all — is that they’re technically button downs, which means they look good with errythang. (Feeling fancy? Extra adult? Do a skirt, but ditch the blazer.)

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I suppose you’ll need shoes too, now. Go with a loafer that’s leather (avoid velvet driving mocs, though, you’re not Hugh Hefner) or a white sneaker, or if you’re an overachiever despite being a sleeper-inner, add a heel.

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And there you have it. You’re dressed, but you didn’t really get dressed. You didn’t end up going to the gym, either, but you look good!

Image via Le 21ème