More Than a Mentor

Ears are gross, though.

This was my first thought. Actually my first thought was if I was standing an appropriate distance from the woman speaking to me — sometimes it’s hard to know in the midst of a collaborative effort (arms pointing, hands gesturing, eyes hinting) if you’re too far away or if you’ve crossed that I-can-smell-your-breath line, but the ear thing distracted me.

She was having the photographer get a tight shot. He was zoomed in close to the model’s head, snapping away while I watched the shots appear on the computer screen on a half second delay to the rapid flash of his camera. This was supposed to be my big byline debut with the words “Market Editor” printed in bold. Ears are so gross, I thought again.

The picture came out amazing.

Her point of view was often different than mine. Her references went over my head. She oversaw the smaller shoots I’d been given responsibility to handle — she oversaw everything visual, really — and inspired me to look at everything with my head tilted sideways or upside down, to ignore the obvious; to look for the more interesting angle that is always there.

I’ve been lucky to have numerous women throughout my career who were mentors, in addition to being bosses. Even during moments of being unhappy at my job (endless nights, early mornings, arguments with courier services) I had women with whom I connected, who guided me to the next point, who taught me something and above all, inspired.

One inspired fear. I don’t think fear and respect are synonymous, but fear will get you out of bed at 6:00 AM so that you’re in the office by 7. What respect will do is keep you there late, not for a pat on the back but to be the best intern she’s ever had.

One taught me the value of a team, and how sharing ideas — even the ones that sounded really dumb inside my head — could give an anecdote or a pitch a whole different shape.

One inspired me to write. She showed me that writing was not just a matter of just doing your job by putting facts on paper, then organizing them in a way that won’t get you sued. She taught me that writing was about telling a story, engaging an audience and having fun with words. And she taught me that it’s okay to agonize over the process so long as you basically want to make out with the finished product.

One mentor became a friend. She inspired me to take charge — not just of my assignments, but of my career. She encouraged me to explore what interested me, to challenge myself, to look at everything around me, to soak it up and write it down; to highlight things in yellow ink and tear out pages of magazines that caused me to pause, because if I paused, that meant something.

Each one of these women caused me to pause.

In partnership with Estée Lauder & Elle