Why I Won’t Be Seeing “Dracula Untold”

Absent forces beyond my control, I will not be seeing Dracula Untold. People say never say never, but I think this one is pretty sure. Here are just a few reasons why:

- I’m sick of vampires.

- As I’m sure people have already said, there is very little that could possibly be left untold about Dracula by this point.

- If there was still something untold about Dracula, they went ahead and told it when they made the movie. As such, the title is inaccurate. Should have been Dracula Previously Untold.

- There are other movies I’d like to see first. For example: almost anything.

- “One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires.”

Mind you, these are just a few reasons. I’m sure there are many, many more reasons not to see this movie.