How To Succeed As An Author
The following is an excerpt from Self Publishing Is For Losers: The Evil Toad Press Guide To Self Publishing.
Chapter Nineteen
Selling Yourself
And I don’t mean on the street corner.
Although realistically, being in business for yourself can feel a lot like that sometimes. It’s scary. You’re in a very vulnerable position, trying to convince the world that you’ve got something they want. And others, in return, aren’t always very respectful of you or what you’re trying to accomplish. But as Bruce Lee observed, “the successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.” In other words, you have to make succeeding at this dream your everything. Eat writing. Dream writing. Think about writing while you’re walking your dog. Don’t ever let your goal out of your sight, even for a moment.
The first step toward achieving this—and, resultantly, achieving success—is selling yourself to yourself. Be your own first and most important convert. Practice telling yourself, and the world, that you are a writer.
Everyone else will treat you exactly as well as you treat you. Professionally, and in every other arena of your life. You set the standard for others to follow. You and no one else. If you don’t take yourself seriously, then nobody else will, either. If you’re not generous with your time and talents, then you can’t expect generosity from others in return. Taking responsibility for yourself, and your life, means putting the energy into the world that you wish to receive back from the world. It means deciding what you stand for, and then standing for those things all the time.
If you take yourself seriously as a writer, then so will other people.
Taking yourself seriously does not mean posturing, or being a bloviating blowhard.
It means, first, acting courteous with other writers, because you’re a professional and so are they. Speak to them pleasantly. Congratulate them on their successes. Help them publicize their books, by doing thoughtful things like re-tweeting their tweets or giving them a little free publicity on your website. Recognize that these aren’t your competitors, they’re your colleagues. There’s enough success to go around, and your chances for success are greatly optimized if you’re well liked by those around you.
Second, don’t insult people on Twitter. This might seem like a no-brainer, but its not. I’ve had other writers ask me for advice, and then criticize me when my advice wasn’t what they wanted to hear. I’ve also seen this happen to other writers. Frequently, actually. And, let me tell you, I didn’t like junior high the first time around. Can the attitude, and never say anything to someone online that you wouldn’t say to their face.
Whatever rules for polite conduct would apply in a boardroom, or at a business lunch, should apply to all interactions. The impressions you make online are just as valid, and just as lasting, as the impressions you make in person. Things like, well there’s a character limit are no excuse. You can be polite, or rude, in 140 characters—or in five paragraphs.
No, writing isn’t a popularity contest, but you should do your best to give people a reason to want to see you succeed. The fact that you want to sell a lot of books isn’t enough. People are not going to be inclined to help you, if you make them feel bad about themselves. Whereas a little generosity can go a long way. People, when they think well of you, are much more likely to do things like tell other people about your book. Or give you a guest post on their popular blog. Or give you advice about how they’ve achieved success.
Conversely, alienate people and you’re going to end up reinventing the wheel over and over again because you have no one to ask for advice and no one to commiserate with when things go wrong.
Third, do not insult people via email.
You can’t both expect people to treat you like a professional, and act like you’re in junior high. Deciding that you’re going to be a writer now is not a way to get out of having to do things like learn proper grammar, or make an effort to learn to communicate effectively via the written word. And as obvious as this point should be, it’s not! Anyone who holds themselves out as a writer should be interested in effective communication. Which is what writing is, after all, at its core.
When people send me rude, insulting, or mistake-riddled emails, the impression they create is of someone who doesn’t care. Which leaves me perplexed about why, exactly, they’re trying to be writers in the first place? For your manuscript to do its job, every word has to be perfect. A romance needs to communicate that yearning for the lovers to finally unite; horror needs to communicate those “I’m afraid to use the bathroom now” willies. Writing is, ultimately, about creating an intimate relationship with another person—your reader. Anyone who’s too genuinely disinterested in others to even care if their emails, say, are hurtful should consider why they’re writing in the first place.
I personally am repelled by the mercenary attitude I see from so many would-be bestsellers: that nothing matters but them, that the quality of their book doesn’t even matter, that what their readers think doesn’t matter, that other industry professionals are completely irrelevant and they’re just in this to make a quick buck. This is, apart from a terrible attitude to have about your own life, not the way to succeed. People either adopt this attitude, or let themselves off the hook about having this attitude, because they believe that it’s helping them somehow. That “successful” is just shorthand for “narcissistic, bloviating jackwagon.” Which it isn’t. Which is why everyone from Dale Carnegie to Stephen R. Covey emphasizes the importance of treating other people with dignity and respect.
There’s a vital link between success and character. As Mr. Covey explains, “we are the creative force of our live, and through our own decisions rather than our conditions, if we carefully learn to do certain things, we can accomplish those goals.” By “certain things,” he’s referring not to pulling all nighters or stomping on the little guy to get to the top, but on living a life that already reflects your success. Your success as a human being. Remember, yours should be an abundance mentality: every day should begin with an affirmative recognition of the fact that your success flows from you.
Fourth, don’t lambaste people, because they post unwelcome reviews.
An author I used to read did this to me, years ago. I wrote a review that she didn’t like. In particular, she took issue with my characterization of one of her characters and absolutely lit into me via email. My review was a professional review, for a reputable publication. I wasn’t attacking this woman personally, I was just doing my job. Her reply left a very sour taste in my mouth, and I stopped reading her books. Not out of spite, but because I just didn’t want to feel a connection with someone who’d behaved so wildly inappropriately. She hadn’t treated me like a fellow human being.
Fifth, don’t ask other authors invasive questions. Don’t bully them for answers to those questions. For example, don’t ask someone you barely know, over and over again, how many books they’ve sold. If they’re welcoming this discussion, for example on Twitter or via a blog, then that’s one thing. But “this random person is messaging me out of the blue to grill me about my tax return” is a common tale among writers.
Even so, try to be conscientious about maintaining a sense of humor. Because, sixth, this is not the time to go on the warpath. Don’t criticize your fans and don’t criticize other authors—however famous or infamous they may be.
Some writers erroneously believe that putting others down makes them look smart. If I had a dollar for every time I heard some completely unknown writer heaping invective on Stephenie Meyer for her supposedly terrible prose, then I could send my son to Harvard.
This does not make me think, wow, this other writer is super brilliant. Rather, it makes me think, wow, this other writer is super insecure. The need to attack others is a mark of insecurity. Moreover, in this particular case, it’s also a mark of ignorance. Stephenie Meyer is more successful than you. She’s doing something right. Rather than attacking her, you should be doing your best to learn from her. Tens of millions of people the world over love her characters. She has, using those same words that so many people are fond of criticizing, created characters that are that loveable. Ergo, her prose is not terrible.
Don’t try to prove how awesome you are by tearing everybody else down; prove how awesome you are by writing an awesome book, and then sharing it with the world.
Finally, don’t brag.
As Henry Ford said, “a business that makes nothing but money is a poor business.” If you need to brag about the size of your wallet, then do so to the mirror. Or, better yet, if your wallet is really that cumbersome to you, then consider donating a goodly portion of its contents to charity. There are children with cancer who don’t give a fig about your earnings, and nobody ever saw a hearse being trailed by a Brinks truck. And I, for one, am sick of people taking to Twitter to brag about things that don’t actually matter.
Yes, money is great. I grew up without any; I should know. But, speaking as someone who didn’t get a visit from Santa until she was seventeen and who now drives a BMW, I can tell you that it’s not the be-all and end-all. Money can make your life easier, but it can’t make you happier. And it can’t replace the true wealth of meaningful human relationships.
So why am I lecturing you on all this?
Because in business, as in life, your reputation is your biggest asset. And every time you interact with another human being, you’re either building up or chipping away at that reputation. Regardless of your chosen career path, your goal should be wake up every morning and do your damn best to make sure that your reputation is one of honesty, integrity, and decency. That you’re known for being pleasant, courteous, and polite. That you don’t steal others’ ideas, or try to undermine them. That you’re the kind of person, whom others want to help succeed.
How you treat other people, especially people who aren’t in a position to directly benefit you at the current moment, defines your character. And your character, or what portions of your character you choose to exhibit, is part of your professional reputation. The most successful people in any field are invariably also the most well liked. Not because we live in a world that chooses personality over talent, but because of all the talented people out there, the ones who distinguish themselves from the other, equally talented people are the ones who do so by being class acts. People like to work with people whom they like. Whom they admire, and respect. However talented you are, however wonderful your writing is, no one is going to give you the time of day if you’re also an A-1 bully.
And why should they, when there are so many other, equally—or more—talented writers out there, whom they actually want to see succeed?
Much of the time, aspiring writers put the cart before the horse in terms of ordering expensive business cards, and doing all kinds of other things to promote themselves, before they’ve really spent any time thinking about what it is they’re trying to promote. If they ever do. And business cards are great, but they can’t do a whole lot for you if every time you talk to people you end up alienating them.
I think one reason that so many writers come cross as hideously unpleasant individuals is because they’re insecure. Particularly if they’re self published. They aren’t quite certain, in their own minds, that they’re legitimate and so they’re not really certain of how to convince anyone else that they are. And so they’re at best aloof, and at worst downright rude.
One means of overcoming this is to practice explaining why you’re self published, using positive terms and avoiding self deprecation. Remember that you are already successful, by choosing to pursue your own goals and dreams when so many in this world do not. You have courage; you’re a trailblazer. And your success flows from you. People can’t steal your success, by asking the “wrong” questions; they can’t make you feel bad about yourself, unless you let them. Your success is determined, not by how other people see you, but by how you see yourself.
Thus, your focus should be, not on trying to control how others see you but on changing how you see yourself.
You have to believe that your choices are legitimate, before anyone else will.
People will ask you: how are you published? Why are you self published? Isn’t that kind of a dumb choice? If they’ve heard things, positive or negative, about self publishing then they’ll probably share those too. They don’t mean anything by it; not everyone is a trained negotiator and no one should ever be held responsible for the failings of your ego.
Don’t snap at them because they said something that upset you. Chances are, their intention wasn’t to upset you. And even if it was, then so what? You’ve just learned something about them, and how valuable their viewpoint really is. Prepare, beforehand, for these questions by coming up with decent answers. Practice having these conversations with a spouse, or with a friend, who can role play the “difficult customer.” Then you won’t be caught flat-footed, won’t accidentally say something hateful because you’re flustered—and, most importantly, won’t miss an opportunity to promote your work by talking positively about it!
The most important thing you can do, in these conversations, is frame your decision in positive terms.
You didn’t self publish because Random House didn’t want your book; rather, you weren’t interested in selling your book to Random House. Even if the truth is that you submitted 82,000 different query letters to varying agents and publishing houses, and they all told you to take a hike, it’s okay to leave that part out. You don’t owe anyone the blow-by-blow account of all your failures. It’s just as honest, and a lot more sensible, to focus on your successes. And to stress that, for you, self publishing wasn’t a choice, or the only choice. It was, for reasons you can then go on to describe, if the other person is interested in learning more, the right choice for you—regardless of the other choices available.
Don’t see people’s questions as an attack on your choices but, rather, as an opportunity to educate them. Don’t lecture them, of course, but do answer questions firmly and politely. Realize that people are probably only trying to show an interest. But people are imperfect, and often awkward. Just like me, and just like you. The firmer you are in your own convictions, and the better able you are to articulate them, the less threatened their curiosity—or even outright disbelief—will make you feel and the more you’ll be able to remember this. And act accordingly.
