Is it arrogance, NO!

As a coach, I have noticed that as my clients work on raising their confidence, and begin to practice letting others know their accomplishments, speak up with greater assertiveness, and reduce unnecessary apologizing, there can be a temporary swing to what others interpret as arrogance. Are these people really arrogant?  This means, “an insulting way of thinking or behaving that comes from believing you are better, smarter, or more important than other people.”  The answer is no.  This is almost never the case with those who were previously struggling with expressing their confidence.  However, when trying out new behaviors, colleagues can misinterpret these new behaviors as arrogance. 

Humility is the answer. Let’s not confuse humility with retreating back to the old behaviors of needlessly saying “I’m sorry”, incessant self-deprecation, and body language that can diminish your stature.  Humility is a critical leadership trait and looks like:

Benevolence: this means an act of kindness or an inclination to be kind. It's the quality of someone who volunteers in a soup kitchen, tutors children for free, and helps raise money for a cause. It can show up in professional behavior as mentoring and coaching others.

Consideration: this means the act of considering; careful thought; meditation; deliberation. It can show up in professional behavior as giving someone’s project full consideration and listening actively to a new idea.

Generosity: this means a willingness to share. When you show generosity, you might donate or put others before yourself.  This can be demonstrated professionally when you're forgiving and gentle to people, showing a generosity of spirit.

Graciousness: this can be characterized by tact and propriety, such as responding to an insult with gracious humor. It can also be expressed through behaving compassionately when someone has made a mistake or is behaving awkwardly. We can also be this way with ourselves – self-compassionate.

All these qualities show up well for our professional presence.