Invitation to Tears Read-Along #6

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(available until October 7th)

Welcome everyone! This week we’re covering your questions on Chapter 4: “Your Path Through Grief”. The chapter opens up with a story so poignant, I had to read it to you. I think you’ll find your shoulders relaxing as you hear how many responses to grief are normal.

In the podcast, you’ll hear about why Americans view grief as a competitive sport, discover the one way to grieve poorly, and learn how to approach grief as a bundle of tasks not a series of stages.

You can listen here.

Other quotes and links pertinent in this week’s podcast:

Henri Nouwen’s quote, “It is by experiencing pain that we really learn to love others.”

For more on Doer and Feelers, Drs. Kenneth Doka and Terry Martin original terms of “intuitive” and “instrumental” grievers. Be sure to scroll to section 7.

More explanation of linking objects or memory tokens. J. William Worden’s explanation and Linking Objects (an article from Aubrie’s archives).

A quote from Worden on linking objects from Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, “Linking objects are similar to transitional objects such as those that a children hold onto when they are away from their parents. As they grow older, they may hold onto a blanket, a stuffed animal, or some object that makes them feel safe and secure during the transition between safety and security associated with their parents and the need to grow and detach from the family and become their own person. In most cases transitional objects are dropped as children grow up. However, when they are needed, their absence can cause a tremendous amount of anxiety and uproar.” *A note here: linking objects can be negatively connoted if held onto obsessively. But they can play a vital role in the tasks of grieving well. Find out more by reading Worden on linking objects.

Rewriting the Rules of Grief (look under “Help in Healing”)

“They say that people in grief become more like themselves.” from Roger Rosenblatt in Kayak Morning: Reflections on Love, Grief, and Small Boats. Rosenblatt’s book also enjoys a watercraft metaphor, similar to the sailing metaphor we used in Invitation to Tears. In case you missed this wonderful quote on water and grief, read it in last week’s post.


Helpful list of recommended reading on grief from University of Washington.

We are looking forward to your comments and questions next week as we go through Chapter 5 “Mourning with Friends”. Feel free to submit any general question as well as we only have two weeks left!

As always, please leave comments and questions for next week’s reading below. Or you can send confidential questions to mail(at)soulation(dot)org. You must have your questions submitted by 1pm MT this Friday afternoon.

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