A Day in The Life During NYFW

7:26AM: I wake up, I realize I have three hours until I have to be at The Row so I get out of bed, I chug the remaining water that is in a Fiji bottle next to said bed and I head toward the bathroom to brush my teeth. After they’ve been brushed, I examine the bags started to permeate my under-eyes again. My tan must be fading. This morning will start with a vignette written by Amelia called Day in The Life so I’m off da hook until my 1PM show review citing the collections of Public School, Derek Lam, Thakoon and Anthony Vaccarello is slated to go live. In the three hours I have between now and Elevated Basics USA, I think I should go for a run. You know what? I will go for a run.

8:32AM: So, I’m wearing a black tank top and black cycling shorts. My sneakers are neon, though not Chanel, and I’m not out for a run. On the contrary, I’m sitting at my computer, giving a last glance to Amelia’s 9AM story and, fine, full disclosure, I am also googling myself. Sue me! I know you’re going to ask for a What I Wores after Fashion Week so I’m beefing that story up! Kind of! I think I’ll go get a coffee!

9:15AM: I haven’t gotten a coffee yet, I’m still at my computer. I paid my last credit card bill and changed my shipping address on Amazon.com. I wonder why my mom says I’m irresponsible. Look how responsible I am.

9:58AM: I have all the time in the world, I ought to go get a coffee now!

10:15AM: HERE I AM, DARTING DA FUQ HOME BECAUSE THE ROW STARTS IN 15 MINUTES AND I’M WEARING CYCLING SHORTS. My coffee tastes great, but I have to change. Good thing I know exactly what I’m going to wear today.

10:32AM: I get to The Row, which is being shown on Mercer Street not far from where I live. I’m wearing a pair of red and white board shorts from Rosie Assoulin‘s Resort 15 collection with a red knit polo by Rachel Comey and unusually comfortable given their heel height and pointed toe Christian Louboutin nude lace-up pumps. This show is mindblowingly beautiful. How do they always do this? Do you think they realized, when they were wearing gingham baby doll dresses and being a single Tanner daughter, that one day they’d essentially change the face of luxury fashion? I don’t blame their customer one bit for spending $995 on a white shirt.

11:48AM: My stomach directs me toward The Butcher’s Daughter where I resolve to eat Muesli with almond milk but not before first snapping a photo of the restaurant’s host who looks so much cooler than anyone else I’ve seen all of fashion week.

12:20PM: Guess what? I just came home to get a silk scarf to wrap around my wrist. Hehe. Now I’m going to go to Rosie’s presentation dressed like a mascot.

1:01PM: Looks like everyone got the mascot memo! There are balloon and figue tops aplenty up in this club and in case you’re wondering: yes, Rosie has absolutely gone done it again. While there are fewer gowns than there have been, there are significantly more versions of poplin marvels that make getting dressed for work, or to run errands seem so much more spectacular. Rosie often says that she just wants to make clothes that people will want to wear and I feel like that concept gets lost on many designers when in reality, that’s the bottom line — isn’t it? There are cobalt blue faille pants with a large back flap that can either be reckoned a tail or wrapped around to create the illusion of a skirt. There is also a straw tank top. And skirt. It’s…really something.

2:20PM: I’ve just arrived at Karen Walker where I am seated next to the inimitable Yasmin Sewell and we are discussing the imminent launch of our COLLABORATION FOR ÊTRE CECILE IN THE FORM OF THREE SUPER EXTREMELY INSANELY AWESOME T-SHIRTS. I’ll show you a sneak peek if you promise to mail me a sliver of your skin. Fine, jk, you don’t have to do that, here is a sneak peek.

3:02PM: I just arrive at 3.1 Phillip Lim on West Street still thinking about the cool male-inclined loafers that populated the feet of Walker’s models and the highly 70s-inspired silhouettes and suede patches. There is so much suede this spring. I’m seated between Elin Kling and Garance Dore. We talk about Elin’s new label Totême and Garance’s cool notecards. I feel largely left out because I haven’t technically launched product yet. EMPHASIS ON THE YET!

3:40PM: That was cool. Elevated sportswear, etc. I’m hungry again, what now?

4:01PM: Organic Avenue right under my office, ka-ching! How about a lentil soup and oh, what’s a quinoa parfait? Yeah, okay, I’ll try that, for sure. I’ve got a decent-sized break now before the Mulberry event in Soho where Cara Delevingne will indubitably be taking selfies and acting a most endearing fool. I think I should work.

I’ll work.

6:08PM: I’m gonna put my not-as-comfortable-as-they-were-before nude Louboutins back on and haul ass over to Spring street.

6:16PM: That walk felt like forever and just as suspected, Cara Delevingne is here taking selfies amid a flock of unflinching fans. She’s great. Teen Vogue’s editor-in-chief Amy Astley and I conclude that she’s built the celebrity clout she has based in large part to her simultaneous goofiness and coolness. You can’t really beat that, can you? I’m gonna go home.

6:26PM: Hugging Abie is so much fun. I want to do this for at least sixteen more seconds.

6:26:58PM: Okay, I’m satisfied. Now I’m going to change into a Tod’s jacket and Tod’s loafers because they are having a store opening party tonight followed by a dinner uptown at Bilboquet and I am going because a) I love loafers, b) I love Alessandra Facchinetti (creative director) and c) I love free food. First, though, there is Rag & Bone. Should I play that fun blind fold game right now to figure out what to put between the jacket and loafers?

I’m just going to go for my favorite pair of vintage Levi’s jeans and that striped sari I once wore last summer — remember it?

Sometimes I don’t get me either. But I like it! I do like it!

7:52PM: Rag and Bone, here we come! Here I come! Here they come!

8:21PM: The gentlewoman I am seated next to smells of tequila. I adore her.

There are so many swinging straps! Rag and Bone doesn’t have to put a dollar in the “Elevated Sportswear” Jar because it kind of invented it, you know? I on the other hand owe one to the Douche Bag Jar because I almost described not one or two or three but four things as “everything.” On the fifth try, I used the adjective divine. So, that’s two dollars, then.

9:02PM: I arrive at Bilboquet for the Tod’s dinner and make my way over to the bar to start getting hammered. I’m kidding, I’m drinking sparkling water and talking to my friend Kyle. We’re discussing the difference between bombing a people and bombing an ideology when we hear a very loud boom. We both look to the window, Kyle appearing particularly startled to find nothing out of the ordinary. “Sorry,” he says. “I am very afraid of terror attacks.” I ask him what table he’s seated at and whether I can sit on his lap. We proceed to his table.