STOPPED FOR GOING GREEN

I was questioned by the police last night.

"What are you doing with that spade and plant pot?"

Seriously.

It was rather late at night, though.

"I've just planted a bush." As you do, late at night. In fact, I didn't realise how long it had taken to dig out the hole, since the ground appeared to be the dumping site for the constructors who had built the nearby supermarket.

For those of you who don't know, in my spare time I am trying to establish a garden in the abandoned strip of land that fronts a supermarket. For such a public area, it has been left in a shocking state, but little by little, I'm planting trees and flowering bushes. Being terribly hot here, in southern Spain, during the day and with two young daughters to keep me busy, late in the evening is the only time available to me. Hence the strange hour.

Being a writer, I had to restrain my imagination, since I so desperately wanted to explain to them that I bury my secret stash of marijuana there, the trees acting as very useful markers. The empty plastic bag had contained coffee grounds, not for use as mulch and to (as I'm led to believe) help repel pests, but rather to disguise the smell of drugs so any nosey police dogs can't detect them.

The police don't have a sense of humour, though, as I discovered once, crossing the Spanish border in my car. When asked if I was carrying any drugs, I responded to such a silly question, "Yes, of course - a couple of kilos of cocaine in the boot." After a thorough, 20-minute search with sniffer dogs, they finally let me go.

Anyway, last night the police seemed to grudgingly accept my explanation, probably writing me off as a mad foreigner, and continued on their way... driving the wrong way down a one-way street. They suddenly stopped, did a U-turn and roared back up in the direction of the supermarket, probably to check my daft story. My guess is that after a week of the annual fair, with drunken bums causing them all sorts of problems, everything has gone quiet and they were bored.

I just hope they don't put two and two together when there's a person reported missing... BWA-HA-HA-HAAAA!

Planting trees is my two cents' worth toward helping the environment, apart from making a horrid-looking place a bit nicer. I don't have my own garden - just a few pot plants in the patio. It doesn't cost me anything, since they are all grown from seed or cuttings. Simply a bit of time and effort. I deal with this in my kids' picture book, The Last Tree, which talks about the importance of trees, without forgetting that it needs to be a fun story for young readers.

I have now converted it into a video, so follow the link to it on Youtube: The Last Tree on Youtube

También en español: El Último Árbol en Youtube