Present and Accounted For

PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR

Once I believed that tickets or passes should be offered to only those individuals worthy enough to procreate. Parenting is tough. If you discipline too much your kids may rebel, too little and they run wild. Push education, reading, and math practice and they may hate learning. Not push enough and they won’t succeed. Teaching boundaries, manners, kindness, acceptance is far more difficult than any parent ever considered.

In college a friend told me his father bashed his stereo when he was younger because he constantly played his music too loud. I think of this often. My initial thought was aghast with shock; who would do such a thing? Additionally, the event remained a harmful enough memory that it stayed with my friend all those years. However, I’ve found myself on the precipice of my own bashing struggles, usually with a Nerf gun or game console in question. Let me make one thing clear, my kids learned the word ‘confiscate’ at a very young age.

As we embark on our last couple years of elementary school, I regularly ponder whether I should have ever been issued a ticket for children. I’ve slipped, my defenses are down. I’m picking my battles and holding onto faith that my love will see them through.

It’s tough though. Keeping up with the Jones’ has become an Olympic sport, hence, instilling values has become a challenging game. I don’t buy my kids everything. No nine year old needs an iPhone. Hell, I just got my boys their first game console this past year. In my house a box is still a thing of wonder, and I’m highly proud of that. We didn’t even have a TV until two years ago. Watching TV isn’t the center of our universe.

But even with all my efforts my boys can be real punks. They hate reading and writing, they don’t want to take showers, they have cavities, they fight, and they often drive me out of my mind.

How am I supposed to save them is a world that barely has the morals to save itself? And how am I supposed to find the patience to fight the battle when I’m exhausted?

One fact has become apparent over these past years. What kids need is the very thing many parents forget to give. It’s not something that can be bought or borrowed. It’s not a place to visit or a sport to play. Our children just need us to be present in their lives. Fighting the fight, making mistakes, learning, and living beside them every day and in every way. At least I got that right!