What to do When Co-Workers Are Toxic

In the best of all worlds, we’d all have an enjoyable and well-paying job, a fantastic manager, and helpful and supportive co-workers.

Unfortunately, real life is not always that simple. Things get a lot more complicated when you have a job you like with a good manager—but difficult co-workers.

We expect that some days we’ll run into individuals who are unreasonable, unhelpful, or just generally unhappy. The problem comes when this happens on a recurring basis with people you need to interact with in order to do your job properly.

Sometimes you’ll wind up in a situation where your co-workers aren’t just disagreeable, they’re downright toxic. This includes individuals who refuse to do their part of a project or task, as well as those who seem to always be missing in action when needed. It also includes people who become argumentative when discussing a work-related issue and those who put up roadblocks so you can’t properly do your job.

It’s important to remember that, although you can’t control other people’s actions, you can control your reactions to their behavior. Try not to be sucked into someone else’s issues or negativity. Take the higher ground and avoid arguments whenever possible. Give others the benefit of the doubt, just as you’d like for them to do for you.

Start by trying to present your point of view calmly and logically. Let your colleague know that you appreciate her viewpoint, but you’d like to be able to work this out so you can both accomplish your objectives. Ask her to propose ideas to resolve the conflict, then listen to her input and see if you can find common ground.

If this doesn’t work, you may need to bring in reinforcements. Work with others on a project team to come to a consensus on how to proceed—even without the support of a lone dissenting team member. Work around someone who throws up ongoing obstacles by finding another way to get things done.

Don’t be afraid to go to your manager for help. Try not to be defensive when you explain the situation. Ask for her advice and support to move forward. Often, she may be able to provide insight or give you language that allows you to approach this from a new perspective. There are times when you may need her to get more directly involved and talk to the employee in question or to her manager.

One important note: If a toxic co-worker at any time threatens or harasses you, or you feel they may be a danger to you or others, do NOT tolerate this behavior. Speak to your manager, your HR representative, or someone on the security team, as appropriate.

-Linda Popky, President, Leverage2Market Associates