10 Things That Work Better Than Friends with Benefits

In a perfect world, “friends with benefits” could totally work. But if you’re a human with a functioning cardiovascular system, you know it’s a type of relationship that’s easier said than done. It’s like licking your own elbow: everyone’s got to try it, but few ever succeed. (And afterwords you feel like a doofus for even thinking it could work.) Here are 10 things that work better than friends with benefits:

1. Mating with nuns

2. Vacationing with babies

3. Playing with fire

4. Rhyming with orange

5. Painting with cement

6. Fighting with Ghandi

7. Living with wolves

8. Running with scissors

9. Golfing with chopsticks

10. Writing with sarcasm

Commiserate with me and add some of your own below! (And be honest: how many of you just tried to lick your own elbow before starting this list?)

Image via Elle Ukraine, shot by Nikolay Biryukov