What Song Did You Not Understand?

To be fair, I was in fifth grade — 1999 — when “No Scrubs” came out. This means I was 11, and though I grew up the opposite of sheltered as a city kid in San Francisco, I was still just that: a kid.

Which means that contrary to my own beliefs I did not actually know everything, let alone anything, and I especially did not understand my favorite song that year.

“A scrub is a guy who thinks he’s fly

And is also known as a buster

Always talkin’ about what he wants

And just sits on his broke ass

So (no)

I don’t want your number (no)

I don’t want to give you mine and (no)

I don’t want to meet you nowhere (no)

I don’t want none of your time and (no)”

Ok. This part I got. It’s fairly self explanatory, and though I was light years away from dating, I knew that a scrub was a guy you did not want to date. But I didn’t understand why, because to me, he sounded pretty good! Let’s explore:

Always talkin’ about what he wants

He’s motivated!

And just sits on his broke ass

Well if his “butt” is broken he most likely can’t walk so he has to sit, right? Probably on one of those doughnut pillows my dad’s secretary used.

I don’t want no scrub 

A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me

Hanging out the passenger side /  Of his best friend’s ride / Trying to holler at me

This part really threw me off. Since every boy I knew was also 11, they were lucky to sit in the passenger side of their best friend’s ride aka their mom’s Honda. Most of them had an older sibling who had shotty by nature of seniority, meaning that that majority of 11-year-olds I knew sat in the back. If Matt’s mom drove by with Matt hanging out the window as he shouted “Hi!” to me, I would have been THRILLED.

But a scrub is checkin’ me /  But his game is kinda weak / And I know that he cannot approach me

Again, back to the age thing no boys in 5th grade has game. This may have been why the aforementioned “hi” would have sent my pre-pre-teen self on a puppy love tailspin.

I don’t want your number (no) /  I don’t want to give you mine and (no)

Landlines, man. The ultimate bitch.

If you don’t have a car and you’re walking /  Oh yes son I’m talking to you

Again. None of us had our cars. In fact, growing up in SF meant that 80% of us walked or took public transportation to school, regardless of parental car ownership.

If you live at home wit’ your momma /  Oh yes son I’m talking to you (baby)

We not only ALL lived at home with our mommas but we also slept in sheets with cartoon characters on them. Can’t fault an 11-year-old for that.

Wanna get with me with no money /  Oh no I don’t want no (oh)

No one had money. What 11-year-old has money? Those of us who did, for lunch, lost it before noon. My mom packed my lunch so I never had money. This wasn’t a concern.

And yet, I still sang along.

Your turn. What song did you not understand? Maybe you still don’t understand? Let’s break it down, and then let’s sing.

– Amelia Diamond

Image via Rollingout.com