On Writing: Bad Reviews and Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

An open letter to that chick who stol... ***SPOILER ALERT*** What I’m Working On

On Writing: Bad Reviews and Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

A perceptive reader recently asked me how I handle bad reviews. In the interests of sharing incredibly personal shit, here is the truth.

I go through the five stages of grief, per Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, a very cool chick who’s far more than a pair of funky seventies glasses and an amazing umlaut.

The glasses work on her, IMHO.

Kübler-Ross wrote a book that segmented death and dying into five distinct stages. These can be applied to any loss, including the heart-wrenching gap that’s left in my existence whenever I receive a less-than-stellar review, as shown below…

Stage One: Anger.

What the Hell? I didn’t kick your dialysis machine out of the wall, I wrote a book! Yow!

I love this guy.

Stage Two: Denial

This person doesn’t know anything. This review is bunk!

You know I’m getting real when I crack out the old ‘talk to the hand’ shtick.

Stage Three: Bargaining

OK, maybe they had like a point. Or two. I ask folks I trust. Do you think I should change XYZ going forward?

If you don’t already know why I put this picture here, then there is no way to explain it to you.

Stage Four: Depression

OMFG, I SUUUUUUUUCK! This needs to change. I am the worst writer in the history of ever! Must obsessively read good reviews to feel better.

Time for a ‘first world problem’ meme!

Stage Five: Acceptance.

Fuck it. I can change that next time. This is immediately followed by the feeling of, hey, that wasn’t such a big deal after all!

Guess who I am in this picture? No, not her.

So, there it is. Bottom line? I see my writing as a conversation with you, dear reader. And I listen. Although, honestly, I’m much more likely to listen if you give me four or five stars. Just saying :-)