Ask lunaKM – How to Rebuild Self-Esteem
Dear lunaKM, After a series of bad relationships that included verbal and emotional abuse I feel as if I have lost myself and my self esteem and respect. I know that you cannot love and respect someone else until you love and respect yourself but I was just wondering how I could go about rebuilding that love and respect and self-esteem for myself I feel I have lost? I feel very defeated. Thank you and best regards.
In your situation, I would suggest finding a therapist you could talk to. There are a lot of things you can do yourself, but finding someone you can confide in that is there to help you recover yourself is one of the best sources of help I can suggest.
Many therapists work on sliding scales so even if money is tight you could probably afford once a month or something. Make it a priority and skip eating out once that month to go. Your well-being is worth it!
Now, you did want ideas for what you can do yourself also and I do have a few things for you that have worked for me. Let me just lay them out for you.
Accept and believe compliments. People are really cheap with their praise these days, so when you do receive a compliment, thank them and believe what they have said. They wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true for them, so make it true for you too.
Find a few really good affirmations about positive image and say them to yourself in front of the mirror everyday. Say them outloud, repeat them often and commit them to memory. A couple that I like are, “I am a wonderful person,” “I have every right to enjoy being who I am and having fun,” and “Negative thoughts are not a part of me anymore.”
Positive self-talk is a powerful thing. Use it well. I wish you luck.
Do you have a question or would like to get some advice? All questions are anonymous. Ask lunaKM!
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