Another snippet

Since Kellea asked, here is a little snippet from Vol. III. It is Christmas day, nearly three months after Darcy and Elizabeth’s wedding, and the Gardiners are at Pemberley for the holidays (no guarantees it won’t be rewritten before I’m done, though).


Epilogue


Elizabeth left her dressing room and went in search of her recent acquisition; she found him seated in the breakfast-room, quietly reading the paper along with her Uncle Gardiner. The two men rose as she entered, and she was kissed first by her uncle, then more spiritedly by her husband.

“I worry about your husband, my dear,” said her uncle as he seated himself and lifted the paper again. “His colour is off, and he does not eat enough to suit me: I fear you may be over-taxing him—in his duties as host during Christmastide, I mean.”

Elizabeth sat down on Darcy’s knee and stole a bite of toast from his plate. “He is keeping up his strength quite well, I assure you, Uncle,” said she, with a contented smile. “You may trust that I am quite attentive to his needs, and his strength.” Her relation cocked a reproving eye at this, but chuckled good-humouredly. Elizabeth rose and went to her place at table; Reynolds brought her a cup of tea, murmuring a “Good morning, Ma’am.”

“Good morning, Reynolds. Is your back at all better?” she asked with concern.

“Yes, thank you very much, Madam. That plaster was a vast help, and I slept well for the first time in weeks; amazing.”

Elizabeth patted his arm, smiling up at him. “I am so glad; it always worked for my father.”

“Yes, Madam; thank you again.”

“Where is my aunt?” she asked Mr. Gardiner.

“She is somewhere about,” he said. “She finished breakfast and, tiring of watching the two of us read and dawdle, she went off in search of occupation.”

“It will be time for services before too long,” Elizabeth pointed out.

“Yes, my dear, I am sure she will not have forgotten Morning Service on Christmas Day,” Mr. Gardiner said wryly.

“Gardiner,” Darcy spoke up from behind his paper, “have you any idea where my wife got this notion that no one is capable of running their lives without her help?”

“Certainly not from my side of the family,” he said. “Yet it seems unlikely to have come through my brother Bennet: perhaps my sister had outside help.”

“I shall throw something at you in a moment,” Elizabeth warned him.

“And where did she pick that up?” queried her uncle.

“Ah…that comes from my side,” Darcy admitted. “I throw things: pillows, and rolls and such; and my aunt has been known to throw a spoon with deadly accuracy.”

“Charming,” said Mr. Gardiner wryly.

“Is not it?” put in Elizabeth with pleasure. “I do adore these little habits of the ton; it gives one so much more latitude of expression in daily life.”
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Published on July 11, 2014 18:18
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message 1: by Stanley (new)

Stanley Hurd Ok, so now I’ve let this settle overnight, it feels a little off to me. Even though it’s part of the epilogue, and so might be excused for having a slightly different character, it now feels too modern in tone. Do you think?


message 2: by Shannon (new)

Shannon K Thanks for this glimpse of their married life! I enjoyed seeing them so at ease with each other, and in their family circle. That said, I know what you mean by a little off. I can't imagine that Darcy would be comfortable allowing Elizabeth to sit on his knee when they had an audience. Also, as little training as Mrs. Bennet provided, I imagine Elizabeth feeling overwhelmed initially with the demands of being mistress of Pemberley. If you've previously shown Darcy encouraging her as she adapts to that role, this scene would be fine, but otherwise it seems unkind for him to tease her for her attempts to help their guests and servants.


message 3: by Kara (new)

Kara Clapp At first read I agreed with Shannon and you; however, the audience is family and specifically the Gardiners whom Darcy enjoys, so I don't think the casualness of the conversation is off at all. We have seen Darcy be very relaxed with his sister. The teasing seems natural between Darcy and Elizabeth. And remember Uncle Gardiner likes to tease Elizabeth, remember his comments about rocks and mountains compared to men?Although if you insist on changing it, having Elizabeth not sit on Darcy's knee would be sufficient I think IMHO.


message 4: by Stanley (new)

Stanley Hurd Shannon and Kara,

Thanks a whole bunch for your comments; this just about sums it up for me, too: on the one hand, Elizabeth is over the line; on the other, she is in her family, and with members of it with whom Darcy is quite comfortable, so it might be believable. In the epilogue I do allow myself to shift tone just a bit, as I did in the prologue in vol I, but I don’t want it to jar. It’s a tightrope act, but your comments do help me to manage it. Thanks again!

Stan


message 5: by Sheila (new)

Sheila Majczan Hello, Stanley,
I agree with the comment about her sitting one his knee. I am imagining him with his morning paper and she would have to take the paper our of his hands to gain access to his lap. And then there it the whole matter of dropping crumbs when one is eating toast. Did he have his paper on top of his toast? If the paper was sitting on top of his toast how did she pick up a piece? Lovely home scene other than that. Loved the teasing about Darcy keeping up his strength. Sheila


message 6: by Sheila (new)

Sheila Majczan on not one


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Stanley Michael Hurd
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