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Stanley
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Jul 12, 2014 07:18AM
Ok, so now I’ve let this settle overnight, it feels a little off to me. Even though it’s part of the epilogue, and so might be excused for having a slightly different character, it now feels too modern in tone. Do you think?
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Thanks for this glimpse of their married life! I enjoyed seeing them so at ease with each other, and in their family circle. That said, I know what you mean by a little off. I can't imagine that Darcy would be comfortable allowing Elizabeth to sit on his knee when they had an audience. Also, as little training as Mrs. Bennet provided, I imagine Elizabeth feeling overwhelmed initially with the demands of being mistress of Pemberley. If you've previously shown Darcy encouraging her as she adapts to that role, this scene would be fine, but otherwise it seems unkind for him to tease her for her attempts to help their guests and servants.
At first read I agreed with Shannon and you; however, the audience is family and specifically the Gardiners whom Darcy enjoys, so I don't think the casualness of the conversation is off at all. We have seen Darcy be very relaxed with his sister. The teasing seems natural between Darcy and Elizabeth. And remember Uncle Gardiner likes to tease Elizabeth, remember his comments about rocks and mountains compared to men?Although if you insist on changing it, having Elizabeth not sit on Darcy's knee would be sufficient I think IMHO.
Shannon and Kara,Thanks a whole bunch for your comments; this just about sums it up for me, too: on the one hand, Elizabeth is over the line; on the other, she is in her family, and with members of it with whom Darcy is quite comfortable, so it might be believable. In the epilogue I do allow myself to shift tone just a bit, as I did in the prologue in vol I, but I don’t want it to jar. It’s a tightrope act, but your comments do help me to manage it. Thanks again!
Stan
Hello, Stanley,I agree with the comment about her sitting one his knee. I am imagining him with his morning paper and she would have to take the paper our of his hands to gain access to his lap. And then there it the whole matter of dropping crumbs when one is eating toast. Did he have his paper on top of his toast? If the paper was sitting on top of his toast how did she pick up a piece? Lovely home scene other than that. Loved the teasing about Darcy keeping up his strength. Sheila


