Strongly Communicating Important Points

I received a call this week from a client who is a senior executive in a large company. He was upset because another executive, one of his peers in another department, emailed him with a “complaint.” It seems my client’s colleague had taken issue with how my client had handled something and he decided to express that via email.

You probably know where I’m going with this. You know that if you have something important to say, communicating face to face or over the telephone is the way to go. The written word can’t convey your tone of voice and communicating by email opens up too many possibilities for misunderstandings. Beyond that (as if that’s not enough), emailing doesn’t allow you to gauge the impact of your message and recalibrate when necessary.

Still, every day, this kind of mistake is made, even by seasoned executives who should know better. Why is that? The culprit is our emotions.  When we’re frustrated, hurt or angry, we forget the things we know when our minds are clear. Our emotions cloud our judgment and we don’t hear the alarm going off warning us not to make a rookie mistake. Moreover, when our emotions are running even a little high, we get impatient and want to say what’s on our minds now, not later. We just send the missive off via email. 

But that’s not the only reason even smart people succumb to the lure of communicating sensitive matters via email. Sometimes we’re just plain nervous about saying what’s on our minds in person and we want to take the easy way out. We tell ourselves we’re dealing with the matter and speaking up—and we believe that—at least in the moment. For a little while, we feel brave because we’re insulated from the other person we “just have to say this to.”

I’ve done this before and I bet you have as well. I’d also bet that for every time it seemed to have worked out in your favor, there were more times we just created a bigger problem. The call from my client was a reminder for me: If I have something important to say, I need to give myself and the other party the best chance to have an effective conversation and a successful outcome. That’s not likely to happen if I resort to email. Not likely at all.