Where To Go to Find a Kinky or D/s Partner: The Big List
From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4/5/14
I think the most frequent question on every novices lips is, “where do I go to find people, partners and relationships now that I’ve found kink and D/s?” It’s a huge hurdle to get over and something that everyone seeks. A partner. A lover. A relationship. It’s not as easy as going down to your neighborhood bar and seeing if you meet someone attractive. There’s a lot more compatibility requirements when you want to find someone that already identifies as a Dominant and then figuring out if they are the Dominant type for you.
Step back for a moment. Do you know what sort of Dominant you are looking for? They aren’t all the same and your style of submission that you crave requires a specific sort of Dominant. In this case you are a unique snowflake. You will have to sort through a lot of potentials that just don’t meet your needs before you can find the match for you. It’s not unusual to spend months and years dating and searching for a partner to explore with on more than a casual setting. Don’t give up and try not to lose your patience.
Treasures are not easily found, but when they are discovered they sparkle bright and strong. So keep traveling and you will find someone, eventually. Where to look though can feel limited. In this age of technology you can search the globe for someone if you are open to that. So open your heart, get searching and maybe you’ll find love.
When you are ready for dating you might start with this list of places. I’m separating them in two sections; online and offline. I’ll do my best to list as many places as I can but I’m not currently dating so I may be rusty. I also can’t guarantee that these sites will work for you, but if you don’t try then you’ll never know. Make sure you read up on how to write a profile and protect your privacy while dating online.
Online
Collarme.com – now gone
Alt.com
Bondage.com - defunct
iTaboo.com
BDSMSingles.com
e-FetishDating.com
altPersonals.net
AdultFriendFinder.com
FetLife.com (not written as a dating site, but people do find partners there)
OKCupid
e-Harmony
Match.com
PlentyofFish
BritishSpanking.com
If I’m missing someplace you enjoy searching, let me know and I’ll add it to this list.
Offline
FindaMunch.com - Find your local BDSM munch group!
BDSM Conventions
Blind dates set up by kinky friends
At the Library, book store, grocery store and more. Kinky people are everywhere!
There is also the harder option of finding a partner and then introducing them to kink. You can then find any man that attracts you and you think might have what it takes and then talking to them about your interests to see if they are interested. The decline rate is higher, but you just might get lucky. In this case you can find a partner in all of the ways that non-kink people do; from the bar to the grocery store, church or through friends.
Where did you find your previous or current partner? Would you like your short story shared on Submissive Guide? Send me an email and I’ll add it to this post.
The Importance of Taking Your Time
Dating in the Lifestyle; What’s the Big Deal?
Finding a Compatible Partner in the Lifestyle
Ask lunaKM – New Kink Relationship, Seeking Daddy Doms and Resources to Help Those Coming Out Kinky
Ask lunaKM – Relationship Stress, Cruising Protocol and Poly Issues
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