Inspirational Quotes and Shit (Part II)

Logic Part III: Answer Key More and Better Blues

Inspirational Quotes and Shit (Part II)

As I said in an earlier post, I went on a mission a while back to try to expose just how banal inspirational quotes are. My most successful effort was to add “and shit” to the end of traditional quotations. E.g., “Religion is the opiate of the masses, and shit.” (Marx)

In no way did this motivate people to stop and think about the banality of what they were doing in posting quotes, but it was a lot of fun.

So I’ve put together a second partial list of the “and shit” quotes that I’ve posted on Twitter. (Click here for the first list.)

I always add a comma before the “and shit” to mark the end of the actual quote, whether that comma is actually needed or not.

As a bonus, at the end of the “And shit” quotes below, I’ve listed some of my other (less successful) anti-inspirational quote efforts: “Booger Poetry” (replacing a key word in a classic line of poetry with “booger”), and “Shakespeare bitches” (adding “bitches” after a line in Shakespeare).

Enjoy!

AND SHIT!

“Love is the absence of judgment, and shit.” (Dalai Lama) #AndShit.

“I dream my painting and I paint my dream, and shit.” (Van Gogh) #AndShit.

“As a writer, you should not judge, you should understand, and shit.” (Hemingway) #AndShit.

“The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn, and shit.” (Emerson) #AndShit.

“Proper words in proper places make the true definition of a style, and shit.” (Swift) #AndShit.

Abraham Lincoln:
“All I have learned, I learned from books, and shit.”

“I hate quotations. Tell me what you know, and shit.” (Emerson) #AndShit.

“In its grossest and most servile form quotation is a lazy folly, and shit.” (Sir Walter Raleigh) #AndShit.

“Quotations like this are the warts and excremental parts of language, and shit.” (Sir Walter Raleigh) #AndShit.

“A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought, and shit.” (Dorothy Sayers) #AndShit.

“Life itself is a quotation, and shit.” (Borges) #AndShit.

“When one begins to live by habit and by quotation, one has begun to stop living, and shit.” (James Baldwin) #AndShit.

“Perversity is the human thirst for self-torture, and shit.” (Poe) #AndShit.

“War is a perversion of sex, and shit.” (Alan Moore) #AndShit.

Oscar Wilde: “Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit, and shit.”

“As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death, and shit.” (George Bernard Shaw) #AndShit.

“An intellectual is a person who’s found one thing that’s more interesting than sex, and shit.” (Aldous Huxley) #AndShit.

“The tragedy is when you’ve got sex in the head instead of down where it belongs, and shit.” (D.H. Lawrence) #AndShit.

“Nothing is harder to learn how to use than freedom, and shit.” (Alexis de Tocqueville) #AndShit.

“Sex pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon, and shit.” (De Beauvoir) #AndShit.

“If Jack’s in love, he’s no judge of Jill’s beauty, and shit.” (Ben Franklin) #Andshit.

“Rational beings are called persons, inasmuch as their nature already marks them out as ends in themselves, and shit.” (Kant) #AndShit.

“Other peoples have saints; the Greeks have sages, and shit.” (Nietzsche) #AndShit.

Albert Einstein: “All the fine speculations in the realm of science spring from a deep religious feeling, and shit.”

“The vulgar crowd always is taken by appearances, and the world consists chiefly of the vulgar, and shit.” (Machiavelli) #AndShit.

“Pleasure causes us to do base actions, and pain causes us to abstain from fine ones, and shit.” (Aristotle) #AndShit.

“Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste, and shit.” (Emerson) #AndShit.

“Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable, and shit.” (George Bernard Shaw) #AndShit.

“Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them, and shit.” (Mark Twain) #AndShit.

BOOGER POETRY

“I think, that if I touched a booger,

It would crumble;

It is so sad and beautiful,

So tremulously like a dream.” (Dylan Thomas) #BoogerPoetry.

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large — I contain boogers.” (Walt Whitman) #BoogerPoetry.

“For he would be thinking of love

Till the stars had run away

And the shadows eaten the booger.” (Yeats) #BoogerPoetry.

“I desired my boogers to be mingled with yours

Forever and forever and forever.” (Ezra Pound) #BoogerPoetry.

“And those whom once my booger had cheered and gladdened,

If still they live, rove through the world now saddened.” (Goethe) #BoogerPoetry.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Thy fate is the common fate of all,

Into each life some boogers must fall” (Longfellow) #BoogerPoetry.

“My booger burns at both ends;

It will not last the night;

But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—

It gives a lovely light!” (Edna St. Vincent Millay) #BoogerPoetry.

“For the beginning is assuredly

the end- since we know nothing, pure

and simple, beyond

our own boogers.” (William Carlos Williams) #BoogerPoetry.

“Luck is not chance, it’s toil; fortune’s expensive booger is earned.” (Dickinson) #BoogerPoetry.

SHAKESPEARE BITCHES