Behind the Kendallabra

Some interesting, oft-overlooked facts about Kendall Jenner: She appeared on the revival TV show Hawaii Five-0 in 2012 as someone named A.J. She interned at Seventeen magazine at some point but according to knowledge accrued from a spurious news channel called E!, was shy. Her father has longer hair than her mother does and finally, potentially the most important of these facts: she was 12 only six years ago. This makes her 18 now but also presents the question of: where were you then?

I was in high school. I had braces and I sang The Chant of Spears (see: I’m not a girl, not yet a woman) while wearing bobby-pins on three quarters of Japanese-straightened hair, a floor length black skirt purchased somewhere in the depths of Jewish Brooklyn and those Minnetonka moccasins with the beads on the toe. I interrupted myself while speaking often to inject superfluous, hyperbolic absolutes in an accent reminscent of one from an outer borough and did not have a learner’s permit to drive.

So you know where I was not? A) Driving and B) Informally accepting the title of muse to Riccardo Tisci. But I bet you could guess who is doing both of those things! In circles! The K-Meister. And it’s during these times of glorious evolution that a photographic retrospective, like a visit to Paris, is never a bad idea. So, join me in remembering the Ken that was pre-dall. The Jen that came post -ner and, of course, that leopard print halter top with the embroidered neckline because I think it made noise when she walked.

Talk about an entrance.

There does remain one other question, which depends on whether this evolution has been manufactured entirely by third party participants in the Kendallabra’s life, see: brother-in-law, sister-de-facto, or if this recent rise to high fashion fame is the elective decision of the human Menorah.

The near-irrefutable fact is that she fits the model bill. She also seems to be the best case scenario as progeny in the setting of extreme celebrity but that may present another issue: can you shake the implications of her previous life as a reality star from her current occupation as, ostensibly speaking, The Next Big Thing? Let us photo surf.