How Many is Nilnil?

(Face paint, check. Funny hat, check. Catheter, check.)

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It happens every four years. Top-shelf athletes from countries across the globe gather, setting aside their border-based differences for a few perfect days to celebrate that purest, most cherished aspect of athletic competition: product endorsements.

As you probably figured out, we’re talking about the World Cup, the only time European guys manage to run around in public for several hours without using their hands.

Americans call...