Hello June, goodbye waistline.

In my house, June heralds CATASTROPHE.

We have four birthdays in two weeks.

Oh, the cake. The calories.

The hedonistic gorging on all things bad for you.

Not good for the waistline. Or the cholesterol. Or the shorts.

This year, I will walk to the bakery.

I will fight off cougars and mountain lions with my bare hands.

I will not give them my four cakes, no matter how menacing their growls.

To preserve our celebrations, I will carry the cakes up a mighty oak.

I will eat the cakes while I watch the cougars prowl below.

Unburdened by my bakery bonanza, I’ll swan dive into the river and swim home.

Surely, given my plans, I won’t gain any weight this year.

Then again, driving to the bakery is more convenient.

And watching my kids swim is much more entertaining.

And eating cake shouldn’t present a life or death situation…

unless, of course, your spouse threatens to eat the last piece of cake.

*

This post brought to you by Chocolate Cake.

What is your favorite birthday cake?