Book signing rules

Having read the long list of restrictions at Tony Blair's book signing, I've decided to institute my own list of restrictions for tomorrow's signing. Please adhere closely to these rules.

1. No photography. All photographs with cameras or camera phones is strictly prohibited due to the danger of capturing one of The Author's many bad sides. A sketch artist will be provided and pencil sketches will be available for a reasonable price.

2. Backpacks, purses and satchels are allowed, but all f...