"Did you think all this up yourself? Out of your head?"

Today was the book signing. What do you mean you don't believe me?! Proof? Here's the proof!

That's me, in case you didn't realize. The white shirt I'm wearing was freshly ironed twenty seconds before that photo was taken, but as soon as I hung it on myself it shriveled like a flower petal dropped into acid. Those are my books, my pens, my individually-wrapped prunes dried plums, and my oh-so-stylish sneakers.

If you're wondering how it went, I sold eight books, four of book 1, four of b...