A Conversation with The Oracle of Rodentia
Q: Oh, I see Goodreads has a new Author Q/A feature. Can I ask you a question?
A: Yes, you may ask only one question, and you already blew it... But I'm feeling jovial today, so I'll grant you one more question.
Q: Do you really answer all your own questions?
A: No. I have a team of little rodents who scurry around the place looking up details in a gigantic encyclopedia of all knowledge. They take turns at the reception window and answer questions on a first-in-last-out basis so the earlier you ask, the behinder you'll be. Especially when we're busy.
Q: How soon will I get an answer?
A: One moment please while we connect your call...
A: Yes, you may ask only one question, and you already blew it... But I'm feeling jovial today, so I'll grant you one more question.
Q: Do you really answer all your own questions?
A: No. I have a team of little rodents who scurry around the place looking up details in a gigantic encyclopedia of all knowledge. They take turns at the reception window and answer questions on a first-in-last-out basis so the earlier you ask, the behinder you'll be. Especially when we're busy.
Q: How soon will I get an answer?
A: One moment please while we connect your call...
date
newest »
newest »
...is that the Chattanooga Choo-choo? And if not, could you hail a capybara for me?A. Congratulations! Your capybara awaits in the ground floor lobby and its meter is running.
A. That is the 'A' Train.
Many more such questions are possible. Let me be your Oracle...
Richard wrote: "...Many more such questions are possible. Let me be your Oracle..."Oh thanks! But I think you're going to regret that offer. In addition to being my Oracle, could I ask one of the SroP-pians to be a GR librarian? As I recall, at least one has a history of librarianism and I think I might have accidentally messed things up for a writer I'm reading. (Not one from this press though; at least not this time.) I need a librarian's rescue! Could the Oracle help me find one?
I was trying to create a listing for the epub version of Beth Camp's Standing Stones. That's the version I'm reading and I'm far too lazy to convert reading progress based on epub percentage to paperback pages. So, I clicked on New Edition and put some info in, but it doesn't seem to relate to the other editions now. It doesn't even have the same cover.
So my questions for a Oracle with librarian tendencies:
1) Should readers create alternate edition listings for writers if there aren't any for the format they're reading?
2) Did I seriously mess things up for Beth? Or is the epub listing easily combined/connected to the others?
3) Is it a bad thing to ask this on an unrelated Q & A?
4) Are librarians the last hope for the world? Are they the only ones who are consistently kind to homeless people, offering a warm, dry place to rest and reading material without judgment and with dignity?
5) Are they the last true guardians of universally accessible knowledge? And will they ever be adequately compensated, or at least have enough to loan me capybara fare since the meter has been running all this time? (Yikes!)
6) Do questions to Oracles have to concern themselves about fates, future, and prophecy? And if so, what's the future of JAVA? (Just kidding about that last one. We all know the answer to that.)
7) Will I ever stop asking stupid questions or come to the point of anything I write in five words or less?
I, the Oracle of Rodentia, hear your questions. In FILO order, the furry denizens herewith return these cryptic answers:7) There are no stupid questions, only questions that have not yet honed themselves to five-word-or-less pithiness.
6) It will be inundated by salt water. (Oh, wait. Push that back on the stack a moment: The correct answer is, it will be overwhelmed by data.) No.
5) Yes, in the fullness of time; and the meter has been running, but capybaroids are cheap so you, and they, have all the time in the universe in which to scrape together the fare. Yes.
4) Yes, for the most part; unless they have ulterior agendas, such as scrubbing their collections instead of shepherding them for The Future.
3) Nothing is unrelated to anything else, even if all they have in common is their lack of obvious relations.
2) Ease is relative, but it was, relatively speaking, easy. Not at all.
1) Probably not without seat belts and air bags.
Five cents please...
My profound thanks and five cents, listed here in FILO order to your responses to respect the local culture:1) I won't attempt it again without the belts, bags, and bubble-wrap to boot. I will consult librarians, authors, and Oracles instead.
2) Whew!
3) That is very deep, man ... uhm, rat. That is.
4) Shhh! I'm reading in the Periodicals section.
5) More funding, more space, more readers, and universal literacy. As for the Capybara, I've got my fare, and just a trifle to spare.
6) Global-warmingly speaking, salt water may well be it.
7) Thank you so VERY much.
That article that the Oracle refers to in #4:
https://medium.com/book-excerpts/4ca8...
is pretty thought-provoking. Eye-opening too. I hope libraries are at least giving books away that they can no longer keep.
https://medium.com/book-excerpts/4ca8...
is pretty thought-provoking. Eye-opening too. I hope libraries are at least giving books away that they can no longer keep.
Faerie wrote: "That article that the Oracle refers to in #4:https://medium.com/book-excerpts/4ca8...
is pretty thought-provoking. Eye-opening too. I hope libraries are at least giving books away that they..."
I had similar reactions when reading that. Thanks for sharing the article, Richard.
Hmmm, FILO ordering.Oh Great and Wonderful Oracle
Question posed for Her Grace: "Nee-nee-nay-nay-noo screech ello ooga-blurp-gah screech ad?"
It seemed important at the time.
Question posed for Her Grace...Answer posed for Her Grace: Yes. In good time, Grasshopper. Awesome things come to those who wait.
@PJ and Faerie:"You're welcome. A friend pointed me at the article, and as a former librarian-wannabe, it resonated...
Richard wrote: "Question posed for Her Grace...Answer posed for Her Grace: Yes. In good time, Grasshopper. Awesome things come to those who wait."
Dang, and all I could tell her was "Hold onto your diaper...", after which She managed to take her diaper off.
Smashed-Rat-On-Press
The main purpose of this blog is to announce occasional additions and changes to the SROP catalog or the site. And it doubles as a soap-box from which to gesticulate and babble...
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I hope I waited long enough to be the last in and the first out. I got distracted chatting with your first rodent - a pocket gopher, I believe - but since I didn't have the proper credentials, I had to get my ID stamped by a dassie rat, who kindly told me that all would be well if I'd take a train or capy-B anywhere but in front of him. And I think I used up all my questions just wondering where the hell I was and why.