Richard McGowan's Blog: Smashed-Rat-On-Press - Posts Tagged "infinite"
Mars at Opposition
Well.
To celebrate Mars being at opposition today, and the close approach in a few days, I was going to do something fantastic, like offer e-books of the entire Martian Women series at some stupendous discount.
But by the time I saw tonight's sky, it was too much trouble to figure out how to do that. And the response would certainly be awesomely underwhelming, so instead of bothering... I'll sign off and read a book.
Any people who want to take advantage of cheap or free e-books can follow the bread crumbs anyway. ;-)
To celebrate Mars being at opposition today, and the close approach in a few days, I was going to do something fantastic, like offer e-books of the entire Martian Women series at some stupendous discount.
But by the time I saw tonight's sky, it was too much trouble to figure out how to do that. And the response would certainly be awesomely underwhelming, so instead of bothering... I'll sign off and read a book.
Any people who want to take advantage of cheap or free e-books can follow the bread crumbs anyway. ;-)
A Conversation with The Oracle of Rodentia
Q: Oh, I see Goodreads has a new Author Q/A feature. Can I ask you a question?
A: Yes, you may ask only one question, and you already blew it... But I'm feeling jovial today, so I'll grant you one more question.
Q: Do you really answer all your own questions?
A: No. I have a team of little rodents who scurry around the place looking up details in a gigantic encyclopedia of all knowledge. They take turns at the reception window and answer questions on a first-in-last-out basis so the earlier you ask, the behinder you'll be. Especially when we're busy.
Q: How soon will I get an answer?
A: One moment please while we connect your call...
A: Yes, you may ask only one question, and you already blew it... But I'm feeling jovial today, so I'll grant you one more question.
Q: Do you really answer all your own questions?
A: No. I have a team of little rodents who scurry around the place looking up details in a gigantic encyclopedia of all knowledge. They take turns at the reception window and answer questions on a first-in-last-out basis so the earlier you ask, the behinder you'll be. Especially when we're busy.
Q: How soon will I get an answer?
A: One moment please while we connect your call...
Sales Event of the Autumn
Well, I guess it's that time of year again: Fall sales events in the northern hemisphere equal Spring sales events elsewhere on the planet. And to celebrate the turning of the seasons, Lulu is having yet another free shipping extravaganza until September 11. So, if you've been saving up for a big stack of paperback Smashed-Rat-on-Press books, here's your second chance to get them for less. When you order, use coupon code SMG14 to get your free (mail) shipping. This probably only works in the USA, and other disclaimers may apply.
In other news, we've re-released the second edition of On the Klickitat:
This an older book in our catalog: a "romance" of the Pacific Northwest, not for children. It now comes with a smashing, but understated, new cover. So that's one thought for an eclectic Christmas present for the naughty stranger on your list, and it's just thick enough to put under the leg of a wonky table for stability. Also, Banned Books Week is just around the corner, and this would be an "interesting" one to flaunt at that time.
At the end of October, SROP is planning another big hoopla underground hush-hush release of Sanguinity Hematode's first novel and the cover design process is underway, so that might be revealed at some point before it gets shuffled off to the back room to be wrapped in brown paper so the censors won't notice it.
In other news, we've re-released the second edition of On the Klickitat:
This an older book in our catalog: a "romance" of the Pacific Northwest, not for children. It now comes with a smashing, but understated, new cover. So that's one thought for an eclectic Christmas present for the naughty stranger on your list, and it's just thick enough to put under the leg of a wonky table for stability. Also, Banned Books Week is just around the corner, and this would be an "interesting" one to flaunt at that time.
At the end of October, SROP is planning another big hoopla underground hush-hush release of Sanguinity Hematode's first novel and the cover design process is underway, so that might be revealed at some point before it gets shuffled off to the back room to be wrapped in brown paper so the censors won't notice it.
Vacationing the Rodential Way
Alone, that is. Yup. Solo. Just the four of us: me, Kajolium Broadwick, Mantissa Etherbright, and Pansy Schneider-Horst. With Fernij Ängster on the wire via text-message.
Before we get to my report on that fabulous all-expense-padded vacation of your dreams, let's look in on the literary news.
In today's newsy-nooz, here is interestingly fresh young writer S. Usher Evans on why you shouldn't self-publish. Lots of good reasons to throw in the towel and hide on the beach with Banyani. (Unless you're a masochistic rodent like some folks we know.)
The soul-crushing bottom line for "authors" of all stripes may be the statistical realization that someone will probably win the lottery and cash in, but it won't be you. Even if you're a best-selling wunderkind, you're unlikely to make a living at wordsmithery. The rodential advice of the day is: don't give up that day job!
Oh. I think I'll stop reading "news" now and get back under my rock where I can publish as I please, no matter what gets in my way. The roadblock certainly won't be a pile-up of eager readers because statistically speaking, as we know, nobody will read your book anyway...
Stopping for a brief side-bar here... In mid-term SROP sales news is the headline: sales have seriously tanked this year, and we attribute it to ennui; lack of energy needed to continually flog for miniscule returns. So far, sales are down 84% compared to last year. In December, we may have to burn down our warehouse and try to collect on the insurance; or at least end up in prison where we can get some free square meals regularly. ;-)
Meanwhile, back on the road... We four had a "vacation" recently during which we wrote almost no prose, edited only a paragraph or two, and read less than half of one novel. But we sure chewed up scads of hours by driving around a lot (approximately 2400 miles, much of it in the forest) taking photographs of detritus and decay with Pansy Schneider-Horst. After a quick pre-vacation lunch with a marvelous writer and her family, the vacation started with lunch in Lynwood, Washington (with friends). Then, we went to Twisp where we encountered lots of smoke from a big forest fire, and also encountered no Internet access for a day. That was a shock. Then we went on to Packwood, Washington where deer roam at least one of the two streets in town. Then we buzzed through Beaverton, Oregon on the freeway en route to smelly Tillamook, Oregon, and eventually to Depoe Bay for a night, where we paused for a quiet quadraphonic tête-à-tête dinner at an Irish pub. After that, we stopped for a long lunch with friends in sunny Corvallis. The day after that, we watched a man play the cello for an hour or so in Lithia Park (which is in Ashland, Oregon) while wild turkeys and deer roamed around. We then paid obeisance a second time to the headwaters of the Sacramento River near the town of Mt Shasta, California. The last hurrah was a lunch stop in bustling San Ramon, where half the population of California seemed to be converging at once. We followed on with a day of post-vacation decompression by touring Santa Cruz before coming home to safe little Santa Banana, where it's always eternal spring and the surf is always just right.
The really big news to come out of this vacation is that next year we may be in a good position to publish an official SROP calendar full of half-naked fire hydrants in compromising poses.
Before we get to my report on that fabulous all-expense-padded vacation of your dreams, let's look in on the literary news.
In today's newsy-nooz, here is interestingly fresh young writer S. Usher Evans on why you shouldn't self-publish. Lots of good reasons to throw in the towel and hide on the beach with Banyani. (Unless you're a masochistic rodent like some folks we know.)
The soul-crushing bottom line for "authors" of all stripes may be the statistical realization that someone will probably win the lottery and cash in, but it won't be you. Even if you're a best-selling wunderkind, you're unlikely to make a living at wordsmithery. The rodential advice of the day is: don't give up that day job!
Oh. I think I'll stop reading "news" now and get back under my rock where I can publish as I please, no matter what gets in my way. The roadblock certainly won't be a pile-up of eager readers because statistically speaking, as we know, nobody will read your book anyway...
Stopping for a brief side-bar here... In mid-term SROP sales news is the headline: sales have seriously tanked this year, and we attribute it to ennui; lack of energy needed to continually flog for miniscule returns. So far, sales are down 84% compared to last year. In December, we may have to burn down our warehouse and try to collect on the insurance; or at least end up in prison where we can get some free square meals regularly. ;-)
Meanwhile, back on the road... We four had a "vacation" recently during which we wrote almost no prose, edited only a paragraph or two, and read less than half of one novel. But we sure chewed up scads of hours by driving around a lot (approximately 2400 miles, much of it in the forest) taking photographs of detritus and decay with Pansy Schneider-Horst. After a quick pre-vacation lunch with a marvelous writer and her family, the vacation started with lunch in Lynwood, Washington (with friends). Then, we went to Twisp where we encountered lots of smoke from a big forest fire, and also encountered no Internet access for a day. That was a shock. Then we went on to Packwood, Washington where deer roam at least one of the two streets in town. Then we buzzed through Beaverton, Oregon on the freeway en route to smelly Tillamook, Oregon, and eventually to Depoe Bay for a night, where we paused for a quiet quadraphonic tête-à-tête dinner at an Irish pub. After that, we stopped for a long lunch with friends in sunny Corvallis. The day after that, we watched a man play the cello for an hour or so in Lithia Park (which is in Ashland, Oregon) while wild turkeys and deer roamed around. We then paid obeisance a second time to the headwaters of the Sacramento River near the town of Mt Shasta, California. The last hurrah was a lunch stop in bustling San Ramon, where half the population of California seemed to be converging at once. We followed on with a day of post-vacation decompression by touring Santa Cruz before coming home to safe little Santa Banana, where it's always eternal spring and the surf is always just right.
The really big news to come out of this vacation is that next year we may be in a good position to publish an official SROP calendar full of half-naked fire hydrants in compromising poses.
The Rodent's Shut-Out Year!
Well, you're the first to know. The furry-faced folks at Smashed-Rat-on-Press have actually pulled off a no-hitter! Not one single SROP book was sold in 2017. This is an untarnished record of non-sales that would have most "publishers" investigating how to file for bankruptcy. And if zero isn't a rock-bottom integer, I don't know what is.
Luckily, SROP is a serendipitous little venture that isn't about money or fame, just about happily playing in the park. So we already broke out the last of the very special single malt scotch we've been hoarding since 2006.
The Head Rodent and all the little minions have stopped holding their collective breath and are looking forward to a less quiet 2018.
Happy New Year, everyone. Onward and upward!
Luckily, SROP is a serendipitous little venture that isn't about money or fame, just about happily playing in the park. So we already broke out the last of the very special single malt scotch we've been hoarding since 2006.
The Head Rodent and all the little minions have stopped holding their collective breath and are looking forward to a less quiet 2018.
Happy New Year, everyone. Onward and upward!
Smashed-Rat-On-Press
The main purpose of this blog is to announce occasional additions and changes to the SROP catalog or the site. And it doubles as a soap-box from which to gesticulate and babble...
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