Bipeds vs. Nopeds

(I hate animals that don’t need socks)

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Everybody has a favorite fear. Mine is snakes. Well, that, and the paralyzing thought of ever seeing Nancy Pelosi naked. Or clothed.

Snakes. I admit it. And I don’t mean just a “don’t watch this part of the movie” fear. I mean the kind of fear that makes you leap, reverse direction, accelerate in mid-air, and run into trees. The kind of fear that makes you shriek like Bill Clinton being told the rabbit died.

So. Now that I’ve fessed up, maybe you...