Goblins and Elves
The goblins of Other Place share their world with many civilized races, including humans, dwarfs, trolls, ogres, elves and gnomes. Goblins make little distinction between them, causing as much mischief to one race as the next. Many goblins can’t tell one race from another and think the other races are playing some kind of game when they say they’re different.
But each race has their own way of dealing with goblins and the chaos they bring. While there are differences in how individuals act, most races follow a few common themes.
Goblins and Elves
Elves are the most advanced, civilized race on Other Place, a “fact” they point out at every opportunity. Their cities are the most beautiful, their art the most breathtaking, their food the most succulent. None can match their skill in battle or magic, with the exceptions to this rule written out of history. Their reputation suffers a bit because of blood feuds between elf families and factions, but that’s an old tradition they swear by. Elves view other races as knuckle dragging, subhuman halfwits, and if someone has the wealth, skill or accomplishments to prove otherwise, well, obviously they had elven help. It is the burden of the elves to watch over these unfortunates, guiding them, educating them, taxing them. Needless to say, elves don’t have many friends.
Elves take humans and gnomes under their wing as clients. These clients are the poor and dispossessed among their own people, so desperate that they accept elven rule for food and a roof over their heads. Clients get good housing, plenty of food and safety from their enemies in return for paying taxes and doing whatever work the elves assign them. Elves treat their clients very well, but there is no mistaking who is in charge.
Goblins fit many of the elves’ prejudices. They are poor and despised by many, but they don’t want elf help. Goblins are happiest on their own making a total mess of everything around them, and nothing the elves say or do can convince them to submit to elf rule.
Elves once conquered many goblins and carried them into captivity. The goal was to civilize the goblins, teaching them proper behavior and basic skills so the elves could use them as cheap labor. It failed. The goblin prisoners had no interest in obeying their captors and caused constant mischief. Holding the goblins was a full time job, for they were insanely inventive in their escape attempts. Each attempt, whether successful or not, inflicted considerable property damage. Bills for the damage skyrocketed, and when the goblins eventually did escape the elves bid them good riddance.
But once the goblins got free they didn’t go far. Escaped goblins colonized regions around elf territory and set up their rattletrap houses and underground towns. Worse, they’d learned a lot about elves during their captivity, and they knew where to hit to cause the most damage to both elven property and pride. They released skunks into elf garden parties, mixed poison ivy into elf perfume, and what they did to the wine shouldn’t be mentioned. The elves soon learned that freed goblins were as annoying as goblin slaves.
To deal with the goblin problem, an ancient elf king commissioned the first goblin hunters. Goblin hunters were elf veterans of the king’s many wars, battle hardened and dangerous. Other races, lesser races, would have killed their prey, but elves are more civilized. The goblin hunters were ordered to catch the goblins and release them many miles from elf land, making them someone else’s problem.
Goblin hunters caught hundreds of goblins and deported them to distant lands. This didn’t bother the goblins one bit, as they had no trouble finding their way back. Now that they knew the elves were coming for them, they set traps around their homes and began another round of pranks. The goblin hunters retaliated by bringing more hunters with better armor and equipment for digging out their quarry. This led to an absurd arms race, with each side coming up with new and better ways to defeat the other. Elf nature magic, superior weapons and training came face to face with goblin pie traps, cunning ambushes and goblin catapults.
And so the situation remains, with goblin communities in elf lands in an endless, bloodless war with elven goblin hunters. The goblin hunters have developed a grudging respect for their foes’ tenacity and ingenuity. For their part, goblins love goblin hunters, calling them their ‘special friends’. After all, no one else will play with them the way goblin hunters do.
But each race has their own way of dealing with goblins and the chaos they bring. While there are differences in how individuals act, most races follow a few common themes.
Goblins and Elves
Elves are the most advanced, civilized race on Other Place, a “fact” they point out at every opportunity. Their cities are the most beautiful, their art the most breathtaking, their food the most succulent. None can match their skill in battle or magic, with the exceptions to this rule written out of history. Their reputation suffers a bit because of blood feuds between elf families and factions, but that’s an old tradition they swear by. Elves view other races as knuckle dragging, subhuman halfwits, and if someone has the wealth, skill or accomplishments to prove otherwise, well, obviously they had elven help. It is the burden of the elves to watch over these unfortunates, guiding them, educating them, taxing them. Needless to say, elves don’t have many friends.
Elves take humans and gnomes under their wing as clients. These clients are the poor and dispossessed among their own people, so desperate that they accept elven rule for food and a roof over their heads. Clients get good housing, plenty of food and safety from their enemies in return for paying taxes and doing whatever work the elves assign them. Elves treat their clients very well, but there is no mistaking who is in charge.
Goblins fit many of the elves’ prejudices. They are poor and despised by many, but they don’t want elf help. Goblins are happiest on their own making a total mess of everything around them, and nothing the elves say or do can convince them to submit to elf rule.
Elves once conquered many goblins and carried them into captivity. The goal was to civilize the goblins, teaching them proper behavior and basic skills so the elves could use them as cheap labor. It failed. The goblin prisoners had no interest in obeying their captors and caused constant mischief. Holding the goblins was a full time job, for they were insanely inventive in their escape attempts. Each attempt, whether successful or not, inflicted considerable property damage. Bills for the damage skyrocketed, and when the goblins eventually did escape the elves bid them good riddance.
But once the goblins got free they didn’t go far. Escaped goblins colonized regions around elf territory and set up their rattletrap houses and underground towns. Worse, they’d learned a lot about elves during their captivity, and they knew where to hit to cause the most damage to both elven property and pride. They released skunks into elf garden parties, mixed poison ivy into elf perfume, and what they did to the wine shouldn’t be mentioned. The elves soon learned that freed goblins were as annoying as goblin slaves.
To deal with the goblin problem, an ancient elf king commissioned the first goblin hunters. Goblin hunters were elf veterans of the king’s many wars, battle hardened and dangerous. Other races, lesser races, would have killed their prey, but elves are more civilized. The goblin hunters were ordered to catch the goblins and release them many miles from elf land, making them someone else’s problem.
Goblin hunters caught hundreds of goblins and deported them to distant lands. This didn’t bother the goblins one bit, as they had no trouble finding their way back. Now that they knew the elves were coming for them, they set traps around their homes and began another round of pranks. The goblin hunters retaliated by bringing more hunters with better armor and equipment for digging out their quarry. This led to an absurd arms race, with each side coming up with new and better ways to defeat the other. Elf nature magic, superior weapons and training came face to face with goblin pie traps, cunning ambushes and goblin catapults.
And so the situation remains, with goblin communities in elf lands in an endless, bloodless war with elven goblin hunters. The goblin hunters have developed a grudging respect for their foes’ tenacity and ingenuity. For their part, goblins love goblin hunters, calling them their ‘special friends’. After all, no one else will play with them the way goblin hunters do.
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