Hermes Store Employee Roster - Part 1 of 6
The Incurable Romantic
Gender: MaleSexual Preference: queer as a three-dollar billAge: 21-60Hair: very Vidal SassoonTeeth: highway reflective strip whiteMotto: "Appearance is everything"Percentage in Hermès Captivity: 10-15%Likelihood of Birkin Purchase: almost 100%Previous Job: GucciThe Lowdown: this employee outwardly pretends to enjoy his job but is really just hoping to meet Mr. Right (a knight in a shining Hermès croc bomber jacket) and be saved from salesperson serfdom foreverMale Approach: flirtatious without blowing kisses, create false sense of dating potential. Flash croc agenda book (more subtle than flashing black Amex card) early in encounter to activate his innate gold-digging instincts. In case of extreme desperation (yours, not his) bait him with promise of after-work martinis at local Grand Hotel.Female approach: flirt a little too, but better off to compliment his acute sense of style sense, and talk about some hot guy in the store. Also insinuate you have a rich gay cousin you can set him up with.
Gender: MaleSexual Preference: queer as a three-dollar billAge: 21-60Hair: very Vidal SassoonTeeth: highway reflective strip whiteMotto: "Appearance is everything"Percentage in Hermès Captivity: 10-15%Likelihood of Birkin Purchase: almost 100%Previous Job: GucciThe Lowdown: this employee outwardly pretends to enjoy his job but is really just hoping to meet Mr. Right (a knight in a shining Hermès croc bomber jacket) and be saved from salesperson serfdom foreverMale Approach: flirtatious without blowing kisses, create false sense of dating potential. Flash croc agenda book (more subtle than flashing black Amex card) early in encounter to activate his innate gold-digging instincts. In case of extreme desperation (yours, not his) bait him with promise of after-work martinis at local Grand Hotel.Female approach: flirt a little too, but better off to compliment his acute sense of style sense, and talk about some hot guy in the store. Also insinuate you have a rich gay cousin you can set him up with. 
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