Says it all and more

I was just down in the gym in my building, trudging forward to nowhere on the eliptical and spacing out to the wall TVs. I was plugged into my iPod, so I couldn't hear exactly what Maury Povich was saying, but the chyrons (those little blurbs that appear under someone's face as they speak) were cracking me up.

One read, "Says he didn't cheat, hickey came from dog." The other, something like "Swears he didn't cheat on Heather with best friend Steven." The most baffling one read (and I'm...