Trouble with Possums
Well, anyone who’s been following my Twitter lately has seen that I’m currently fighting off a possum invasion. And by “fighting off” I mean “doing nothing to prevent it”. I think I'm going to start telling people it's an elaborate promo scheme for JA Rock's
Trouble At Possum Ranch
. That's plausible, right?
A few people have asked about animal control. Now, I could hire a possum trap, but it’s after trapping them that things get tricky. Possums are a protected native species, so you can’t hurt them (and look at those cute little faces!). You also can’t relocate them more than fifty metres from where you trap them. Fifty metres? THEY COULD STILL SEE MY HOUSE FROM THERE!
So that seems a pointless expense.
Anyway, the other day at the hardware shop I was looking at screens, thinking that I could tack it up around the shutters in my house, and damn the aesthetics. And then I remembered that possums have been known to peel back tin in order to get into roofs.
So that seems like a pointless expense as well.
At the moment, I think bribery seems like the best option. It’s worked before. In the Great Possum Invasion of 2012, after Cyclone Yasi knocked down a bunch of trees, the possums were breaking in and stealing bread and bananas and whatever they could get their clever little paws on – they can also open cupboards – I ended up leaving food outside for them. I agreed to do this, and they agreed not to break in unless I forgot. Or was late. Or they wanted something apart from bananas.
Anyway, once the trees grew back the possums went back to their old diet.
Another option, of course, is earplugs. Because here’s the thing. If the possums break in and I don’t hear it, it doesn’t count, right? Ignorance is bliss. That way, if I come out of my bedroom in the morning and there are things knocked onto the floor, I’ll just blame the cats.
Now, I don’t hate possums. I just wish they’d remember that they are outside animals. Particularly when it’s midnight, this is my bathroom, and I really, really need to pee.
I peed anyway. With a towel over my head for protection.
A few people have asked about animal control. Now, I could hire a possum trap, but it’s after trapping them that things get tricky. Possums are a protected native species, so you can’t hurt them (and look at those cute little faces!). You also can’t relocate them more than fifty metres from where you trap them. Fifty metres? THEY COULD STILL SEE MY HOUSE FROM THERE!
So that seems a pointless expense.
Anyway, the other day at the hardware shop I was looking at screens, thinking that I could tack it up around the shutters in my house, and damn the aesthetics. And then I remembered that possums have been known to peel back tin in order to get into roofs.
So that seems like a pointless expense as well.
At the moment, I think bribery seems like the best option. It’s worked before. In the Great Possum Invasion of 2012, after Cyclone Yasi knocked down a bunch of trees, the possums were breaking in and stealing bread and bananas and whatever they could get their clever little paws on – they can also open cupboards – I ended up leaving food outside for them. I agreed to do this, and they agreed not to break in unless I forgot. Or was late. Or they wanted something apart from bananas.
Anyway, once the trees grew back the possums went back to their old diet.
Another option, of course, is earplugs. Because here’s the thing. If the possums break in and I don’t hear it, it doesn’t count, right? Ignorance is bliss. That way, if I come out of my bedroom in the morning and there are things knocked onto the floor, I’ll just blame the cats.
Now, I don’t hate possums. I just wish they’d remember that they are outside animals. Particularly when it’s midnight, this is my bathroom, and I really, really need to pee.
I peed anyway. With a towel over my head for protection.
Emma Sea wrote: "heh, I have this documentary on my cable TV hard drive. I watch it sometimes to relax before I go to sleep. And now I say..."O.o
...errr
Welcome in the club. <--- think very dry tone.
Oh no, "they turned him on his side", what, to let the air out? Jeez, talk about letting fluffy off the chain. Having a an LBL moment over here.
Lol! Most of the Pacific is okay. I think it's mainly the northern and northeast coasts of Australia, and up into Asia for the jellyfish and crocs. The rest of the Pacific is just sharks.
When I lived in New Guinea I can remember being told that the sharks wouldn't hurt you since they were so well fed on reef fish, but you had to watch out for the crocs. Of course, I was a kid so I was fearless (even after a schoolmate brought a croc skin for show and tell. It was the croc that had taken his grandma. Whole different world up there!)
Now...I would not go in that water.
Steelwhisper wrote: "Note to self: never swim anywhere Pacific. ."*ahem* Irukandji "has been found in waters as far north as the British Isles"
Emma Sea wrote: "Steelwhisper wrote: "Note to self: never swim anywhere Pacific. ."*ahem* Irukandji "has been found in waters as far north as the British Isles""
Uh-oh.
Lisa wrote: ""a schoolmate brought a croc skin for show and tell. It was the croc that had taken his grandma."And by "taken" you mean "devoured."
Australia: home of the understatement.
Don't worry Steel those are only homing Irukandji, quite a rare breed.
Also I will admit that a seven people got killed by sharks off the West coast over the past year, I think, and we are talking suburban beaches here. Maybe Lisa should be really safe from all predators and just stay inside writing more books( yes!!, problem solved)
Emma Sea wrote: "Lisa wrote: ""a schoolmate brought a croc skin for show and tell. It was the croc that had taken his grandma."And by "taken" you mean "devoured."
Australia: home of the understatement."
It's possible it just took her out for dinner and dancing. I'm sketchy on the details.
But yeah, all the men in the village got together and tracked it down and killed it so they could get grandma back to bury her. That's the sort of story kids are missing in show and tell these days.
Crispy wrote: "Also I will admit that a seven people got killed by sharks off the West coast over the past year, I think, and we are talking suburban beaches here. Maybe Lisa should be really safe from all preda..."Things that live in the same part of the country as me:
sharks
crocs
taipans
more venomous spiders than I can name
Why the hell do I live here again?
But you have possums and green tree frogs and geckos too, aww. Don't be sad, be careful :)
Lisa wrote: "Why the hell do I live here again? "For the Freddos and the Bundy.
Emma Sea wrote: "Lisa wrote: "Why the hell do I live here again? "For the Freddos and the Bundy."
Ah yes. That must be it :)
Crispy wrote: "But you have possums and green tree frogs and geckos too, aww. Don't be sad, be careful :)"Yeah, I'm not sure if the possums belong in the Pro or the Con side of this list.
Emma Sea wrote: "http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-..."That's very freakish! O.O
Will never look at an air hose the same again.
KatieMc wrote: "Between this post and Kynth's rat-pie status update, GR = Good Rodents.With those furry tails, your possums look like cute little mischief makers. The North American opossums are totally creepy,..."
*Laughing at Good Rodents*
Lisa wrote: "Robyn QF - get Booked for life! wrote: "^--- this is why I don't live in QLD! That and Cane Toads."
Hey, we're sharing the cane toads! Everywhere will have them soon...
(Sorry about that.)
I ..."
I live in Perth Lisa, and although there not 'officially' here, they're on their way!
Hey, we're sharing the cane toads! Everywhere will have them soon...
(Sorry about that.)
I ..."
I live in Perth Lisa, and although there not 'officially' here, they're on their way!
Robyn QF - get Booked for life! wrote: "I live in Perth Lisa, and although there not 'officially' here, they're on their way! "Horrible things. Eugh.
Newly discovered Australian marsupial
orgies itself to death!
At least it doesn't kill anything else, right?
Emma Sea wrote: "Newly discovered Australian marsupial orgies itself to death!
.
At least it doesn't kill anything else, right?"
Ha! Now there's an animal that knows how to party!
Emma Sea wrote: "Newly discovered Australian marsupial
orgies itself to death!
.
At least it doesn't kill anything else, right?"
Wow Emma! Where do you find this stuff???
orgies itself to death!
.
At least it doesn't kill anything else, right?"
Wow Emma! Where do you find this stuff???
Lisa wrote: "Emma Sea wrote: "Newly discovered Australian marsupial
orgies itself to death!
.
At least it doesn't kill anything else, right?"
Ha! Now there's an animal that knows how to party!"
At least it's the female that parties afterwards.
orgies itself to death!
.
At least it doesn't kill anything else, right?"
Ha! Now there's an animal that knows how to party!"
At least it's the female that parties afterwards.
Robyn QF - get Booked for life! wrote: "Wow Emma! Where do you find this stuff???"What, you mean you don't sit around nights googling "marsupial suicide-orgy"?
What's wrong with you?
:P
Sorry, too busy stalking Goodreads. Maybe I should give it a go tho? Never know what I'll find.....
...and I only had a short nap. O.oNote to self: neither swim when in Brighton.
fucking ozzies and kiwis.*mewls piteously*
always a competition to see who can make me cry first
WE GET IT, YOU'RE BADASS
Crispy wrote: "I've always wanted to be a badass."and so y'are, luv.
julio wrote: "fucking ozzies and kiwis.
*mewls piteously*
always a competition to see who can make me cry first
WE GET IT, YOU'RE BADASS"
Yup, we are. But our critters are cute!
*mewls piteously*
always a competition to see who can make me cry first
WE GET IT, YOU'RE BADASS"
Yup, we are. But our critters are cute!
julio wrote: "Crispy wrote: "I've always wanted to be a badass."and so y'are, luv."
Thanks Julio, that means a lot to this granny. Oops, I've outed myself as maybe-not-a-badass.
grannies are badasses.my granny was a badass.
she told my mother that jesus wouldn't stop loving me just because i liked The Dick.
actually, her words were "...not for a little thing like that."
!!!
So somehow I missed this and kept thinking the possums were like literary, a figure of speech. But actually they're like living with you. Is it more than one or does one just move around?
julio wrote: "grannies are badasses.my granny was a badass.
she told my mother that jesus wouldn't stop loving me just because i liked The Dick.
actually, her words were "...not for a little thing like that...."
I love your Granny, I wish there were more like her. Maybe I am a badass after all, coz I would do the same, oh yes.
It's sad really, cause jellyfish are so pretty. The Caribbean isn't nearly the deathtrap Australia is--yikes. Steel, I thought you were Pacific basin. We have a pod of dolphins near us in Cali and of course the whole bay is a great white nursery, but they seem to keep to themselves.
I found a first aid sheet given out by the Australian government which had me gasp. It's as if someone dumped every noxious, stinging and super-toxic critter on the planet right on Australia.O.o
Steelwhisper wrote: "I found a first aid sheet given out by the Australian government which had me gasp. It's as if someone dumped every noxious, stinging and super-toxic critter on the planet right on Australia.O.o"
Yep, tourists can be really irritating at times.
~~Dani ♥ semi-colons~~ wrote: "So somehow I missed this and kept thinking the possums were like literary, a figure of speech. But actually they're like living with you. Is it more than one or does one just move around?"Hi Dani!
It seems to be just the one this time. But I've had up to three breaking in at a time. Mind you, one of them was still in the pouch so I'm not sure I can count him.
Steelwhisper wrote: "I found a first aid sheet given out by the Australian government which had me gasp. It's as if someone dumped every noxious, stinging and super-toxic critter on the planet right on Australia.O.o"
But then made up for up by giving us beautiful weather and beaches! :)
Vivian wrote: "It's sad really, cause jellyfish are so pretty. The Caribbean isn't nearly the deathtrap Australia is--yikes.
Steel, I thought you were Pacific basin. We have a pod of dolphins near us in Cali an..."
The Great Whites keep to themselves?? What the hell have we got then? Some kind of genetically modified, rogue, loves-to-eat-humans super species?
Steel, I thought you were Pacific basin. We have a pod of dolphins near us in Cali an..."
The Great Whites keep to themselves?? What the hell have we got then? Some kind of genetically modified, rogue, loves-to-eat-humans super species?
Robyn QF - get Booked for life! wrote: "The Great Whites keep to themselves?? What the hell have we got then? Some kind of genetically modified, rogue, loves-to-eat-humans super species? "We got the ones who saw Jaws.
Lisa wrote: "But then they made up for up by giving us beautiful weather and beaches! :)..."
That they did. Weather here has just been glorious lately. I've been in the pool most days.
That they did. Weather here has just been glorious lately. I've been in the pool most days.
Lisa wrote: "Robyn QF - get Booked for life! wrote: "The Great Whites keep to themselves?? What the hell have we got then? Some kind of genetically modified, rogue, loves-to-eat-humans super species? "
We got the ones that saw jaws."
Ahh I thought so. An American movie's to blame then
We got the ones that saw jaws."
Ahh I thought so. An American movie's to blame then
Waa-waa-waa!Of course we're to blame. Freaking tyrants that we are. Seriously, it's a nursery so maybe they don't hang out after spawning. They trek over to you all for teething :)
That's so funny Vivian! You're probably right, they're just teething! Lol
Lisa wrote: "But then made up for up by giving us beautiful weather and beaches! :) ..."I hesitate to confess this, but I'm one of those who prefer the British summer ;P You know, all those five minutes of it :D
Vivian wrote: "Steel, I thought you were Pacific basin. We have a pod of dolphins near us in Cali an..."Nah, the North Sea instead.
When I saw this pic this morning I thought for a second it was an inflatable ride-on. Hahahahaha, no.
Read and be terrified
Please note, again with the "taken." Not, "dragged under, screaming, and eaten with serrated crocodilian delight"
Why aren't you eating it? That tail should feed quite a few. Toss it on the barbie!Yeah…taken and saved for eating later by being stuffed under a log. I briefly thought about visiting Australia, but the Caribbean is looking better and better.
heh, I have this documentary on my cable TV hard drive. I watch it sometimes to relax before I go to sleep. And now I say that out loud I realize it doesn't seem entirely normal.