3 Rules to Grow Your Self-Confidence

We all have at least one thing in common—we want a great life—whatever that means to us. Whether it’s our work, our relationships or our health, we want to do well and thrive.  We also know that “success” isn’t a given and there are many obstacles on the path to what we want. Here are three tips to help you navigate your way to more success, happiness and fulfillment:

Know exactly what you want: You would think this is simple—but that’s not always the case. For example, I’ve worked with more than a few doctors who thought their dream was to be a doctor—only to find out later it was their parents’ dream, not theirs. It can sometimes take a lot of work to uncover what you want, but it will pay off.
 
How can you zero in on what you want? Begin to keep a journal—over time you will find important clues. Have a series of talks with a trusted friend and let them help you get a clearer picture. Travel and broaden your experiences in life. Read books on topics of interest. Get a coach. The key is to start somewhere and stay in the process until your heart says, “That’s it!”
 
Believe you are capable of achieving what you want: If there is a meaningful goal you aren’t making progress towards, self-confidence might be the issue. There’s a reason so many languish in jobs they don’t love, stay in relationships that aren’t fulfilling and live in regret of not having committed to their dreams and aspirations.  Going after what we want takes commitment—and committing to what you want takes faith in yourself.
 
How can you grow and nurture your self-confidence? Review your life and document what you have already achieved, despite obstacles and challenges. Don’t discount what you’ve already done by saying, for example, “A lot of people graduate from college, it’s no big deal.” Recognize and honor what you’ve done so far, who you have become and how you have risen to the occasion despite your fears and misgivings. Then, read through your list of achievements twice a day for a month.

Take action today: I have a quote above my desk (often attributed to Goethe) that reminds me of the power of action: “Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”  However, from my experience, when we are clear in what we want and when we believe we can achieve it, we are likely to take action. Why is taking action my third point then? Simply because taking action also helps you dig deeper in the first two areas. When you take action, you get more information to clarify what you want, and you also gain confidence from having taken action.

How can you make taking action easier? Identify one or two small steps that will move you closer to an important goal. Then, out of the two, pick the easiest one, and act on it. Then go to the next step-and when you’re there, identify two more small steps, and so on. If you take enough small steps, you will create a momentum for success and soon you’ll be ready to take bigger steps.

Alan Allard, Executive Coach and Speaker
www.alanallard.com