Critique Workshop #3: AFTER THE MIRROR
Title: AFTER THE MIRRORGenre: MG AdventureWordcount: 38, 300Query:
Dear Michelle and Amy,Life is hard enough when you’re the daughter of ‘The Fairest of Them All’ but for Melody, who’s just been tricked into releasing the Wicked Queen, it’s about to get even harder.After the Mirror is the story of Melody, the lonely and rebellious eleven-year-old daughter of Snow White and Prince Valiant. She's spent her whole life being compared to her 'perfect' mother. And not in a good way. When Melody discovers the magic mirror with Espella, the genii, still trapped inside she thinks that at last she’s found a friend. But Espella is in fact Narcissa, Snow White’s wicked stepmother, confined to the mirror as punishment and, once free, she starts to take revenge.Facing many challenges, Melody and Snow White cross the Forbidden Forest together becoming closer as Melody begins to understand some of what her mother has been through because of Narcissa. With the help of the dwarfs they return to the castle to rescue Valiant and, after battling Narcissa and her supernatural creatures, Melody finally manages to defeat Narcissa and to give herself and Snow White a long-overdue happy ever after.After the Mirror will appeal to children who like reading exciting adventure stories with fun, feisty and interesting heroines. And, as the novel continues a well-known fairy story, it has some familiar, favourite characters in it for instance the dwarfs who add a lighter, comic element to the story, and the wonderfully scary and very wicked stepmother, Narcissa.
First 250 words:
“Snow White sucks!”
As soon as the words left her mouth Melody wished she could take them back. Snatch them out of the air before they were heard, but it was too late, and all she could do was watch in horror as Snow White flinched, the hurt clearly visible in her deep, brown eyes.
“Mum, I…”
“How dare you say that to your mother!” The King was striding towards them, his voice ringing out in the sudden, embarrassed silence that had descended upon the crowded ballroom. He stopped in front of Melody, his usually gentle, blue eyes now icy cold as he stared, unsmiling, down at her. “Go to your room!”
“But, Dad…”
“NOW!”
Melody turned and fled, trying to hide the tears that sprang to her eyes. She didn’t care about the room full of party guests left standing, staring at her, their mouths open in shock at the scene they’d just witnessed, or even about the red-faced rage of her father. No, it was only her mother’s face she could see. Her mother, Snow White’s, stricken face looking even paler than usual against her long black hair - so sad, so hurt, and all because of her.
She ran up the grand staircase to the family’s private wing but passed by the door to her own bedroom, carrying on instead to the very end of the hallway where she ducked under the ornate tapestry hanging on the wall and climbed the narrow, spiral staircase hidden behind.
Dear Michelle and Amy,Life is hard enough when you’re the daughter of ‘The Fairest of Them All’ but for Melody, who’s just been tricked into releasing the Wicked Queen, it’s about to get even harder.After the Mirror is the story of Melody, the lonely and rebellious eleven-year-old daughter of Snow White and Prince Valiant. She's spent her whole life being compared to her 'perfect' mother. And not in a good way. When Melody discovers the magic mirror with Espella, the genii, still trapped inside she thinks that at last she’s found a friend. But Espella is in fact Narcissa, Snow White’s wicked stepmother, confined to the mirror as punishment and, once free, she starts to take revenge.Facing many challenges, Melody and Snow White cross the Forbidden Forest together becoming closer as Melody begins to understand some of what her mother has been through because of Narcissa. With the help of the dwarfs they return to the castle to rescue Valiant and, after battling Narcissa and her supernatural creatures, Melody finally manages to defeat Narcissa and to give herself and Snow White a long-overdue happy ever after.After the Mirror will appeal to children who like reading exciting adventure stories with fun, feisty and interesting heroines. And, as the novel continues a well-known fairy story, it has some familiar, favourite characters in it for instance the dwarfs who add a lighter, comic element to the story, and the wonderfully scary and very wicked stepmother, Narcissa.
First 250 words:
“Snow White sucks!”
As soon as the words left her mouth Melody wished she could take them back. Snatch them out of the air before they were heard, but it was too late, and all she could do was watch in horror as Snow White flinched, the hurt clearly visible in her deep, brown eyes.
“Mum, I…”
“How dare you say that to your mother!” The King was striding towards them, his voice ringing out in the sudden, embarrassed silence that had descended upon the crowded ballroom. He stopped in front of Melody, his usually gentle, blue eyes now icy cold as he stared, unsmiling, down at her. “Go to your room!”
“But, Dad…”
“NOW!”
Melody turned and fled, trying to hide the tears that sprang to her eyes. She didn’t care about the room full of party guests left standing, staring at her, their mouths open in shock at the scene they’d just witnessed, or even about the red-faced rage of her father. No, it was only her mother’s face she could see. Her mother, Snow White’s, stricken face looking even paler than usual against her long black hair - so sad, so hurt, and all because of her.
She ran up the grand staircase to the family’s private wing but passed by the door to her own bedroom, carrying on instead to the very end of the hallway where she ducked under the ornate tapestry hanging on the wall and climbed the narrow, spiral staircase hidden behind.
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