Critique Workshop #2: CLANDESTINE CHAOS
Title: CLANDESTINE CHAOSCategory/Genre: NA Science Fiction/FantasyWord count: 77,000
Query:
Pre-med student Kadence Murphy’s sole mission in life: get out of college and into scrubs. Struggling with a hormone-surged roomie, a two-timing almost boyfriend, and financial aid problems, the only thing keeping her from shivving someone is her part-time job in the campus library. She discovers a cryptic book that opens a portal as it entwines the storyline with her reality.
Kadence drops into Captain Jeremiah Colt’s lap, interrupting his latest effort to redeem his floundering business. Now stuck on a dysfunctional transport-ship, Kadence learns she’s in an alternate version of 2013 where Earth collapsed as a result of a global meltdown from Y2K. The survivors took to the skies in an attempt to colonize and sustain human-life on other planets.
Colt itches to dump her aggravating hide on the first planet they come to. Kadence can’t last five minutes in his presence without the driving need to stab him with a spoon. A fierce attraction lies beneath their bickering, making Kadence rethink her quest to get home. But a mutinous crew member has other plans, none of which include Kadence, and he isn’t above murder to get rid of her.
CLANDESTINE CHAOS is a New Adult Space Opera that will appeal to fans of Firefly, Outlander and Somewhere in Time. First 250 words:
Nothing made Kadence hulk-out faster than someone pulling her from a good book. A stack of periodicals dropped on the counter in front of her. The resounding thud echoed through the hollows between the checkered tile floor and vaulted wooden-beam ceiling.
She slammed her book shut, forcing a smile as she bit her tongue and clenched a fist behind the counter. Channeling imaginary powers, she shot lasers at Seth through narrowed eyes that reduced him to his skivvies. If only.
“Kadence, rockin’ the sexy librarian look again.” He leaned on the counter. Sandy-blond hair swept across his face as he inched his way into her personal space.
Holding back the urge to high-five him in the face, she blew out a hard breath. “Seth, why must you irritate me so?”
“One day I’ll break down your walls. You coming to the study session tonight? I hear Campbell’s finals are killer.”
Shelly would be in the dorm humping Felix like a rabbit, and Kadence held no desire to use her roommate as a case study in anatomy. “Yeah, I’ll be there.” She scanned the last of the items and pushed the stack of medical journals towards him.
“Awesome, see you tonight.” He winked, slinging his backpack over his shoulder as he walked off.
She reached for her book with grabby hands, but found only a bare counter. “Shit,” she said, louder than intended, as the library occupants frowned in her general direction. She clasped a hand over her lips and took off after him.
Query:
Pre-med student Kadence Murphy’s sole mission in life: get out of college and into scrubs. Struggling with a hormone-surged roomie, a two-timing almost boyfriend, and financial aid problems, the only thing keeping her from shivving someone is her part-time job in the campus library. She discovers a cryptic book that opens a portal as it entwines the storyline with her reality.
Kadence drops into Captain Jeremiah Colt’s lap, interrupting his latest effort to redeem his floundering business. Now stuck on a dysfunctional transport-ship, Kadence learns she’s in an alternate version of 2013 where Earth collapsed as a result of a global meltdown from Y2K. The survivors took to the skies in an attempt to colonize and sustain human-life on other planets.
Colt itches to dump her aggravating hide on the first planet they come to. Kadence can’t last five minutes in his presence without the driving need to stab him with a spoon. A fierce attraction lies beneath their bickering, making Kadence rethink her quest to get home. But a mutinous crew member has other plans, none of which include Kadence, and he isn’t above murder to get rid of her.
CLANDESTINE CHAOS is a New Adult Space Opera that will appeal to fans of Firefly, Outlander and Somewhere in Time. First 250 words:
Nothing made Kadence hulk-out faster than someone pulling her from a good book. A stack of periodicals dropped on the counter in front of her. The resounding thud echoed through the hollows between the checkered tile floor and vaulted wooden-beam ceiling.
She slammed her book shut, forcing a smile as she bit her tongue and clenched a fist behind the counter. Channeling imaginary powers, she shot lasers at Seth through narrowed eyes that reduced him to his skivvies. If only.
“Kadence, rockin’ the sexy librarian look again.” He leaned on the counter. Sandy-blond hair swept across his face as he inched his way into her personal space.
Holding back the urge to high-five him in the face, she blew out a hard breath. “Seth, why must you irritate me so?”
“One day I’ll break down your walls. You coming to the study session tonight? I hear Campbell’s finals are killer.”
Shelly would be in the dorm humping Felix like a rabbit, and Kadence held no desire to use her roommate as a case study in anatomy. “Yeah, I’ll be there.” She scanned the last of the items and pushed the stack of medical journals towards him.
“Awesome, see you tonight.” He winked, slinging his backpack over his shoulder as he walked off.
She reached for her book with grabby hands, but found only a bare counter. “Shit,” she said, louder than intended, as the library occupants frowned in her general direction. She clasped a hand over her lips and took off after him.
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