Why Children Shouldn’t Run with Caesars

(Julius, we hardly knew ye)

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One of my resolutions for this new year’s orbit was to read more books. That, and marry a furiously rich blind woman who lives on a different continent.

I did find some books.

It was a realization that kind of crept up on me, but I’ve discovered that, in my ongoing war to write a humor column every week, one of the bloodied casualties has been unfettered time to read. Of course, I’m sure many other staggeringly successful money-raking artistes struggle with...