THAT DAY I SMELLED SO GOOD by Ruby the Dog

THAT DAY I SMELLED SO GOOD

by Ruby the Dog
I shall never forget that day

That amazing, unbelievable day when I smelled sooooooooo good

The humans took me on a boat ride to Salem, Massachusetts

I got off the shaky-wierd vessel and walked on my leash like a good little girl.
But then…

There was a great green field

And no one around

Mmmmmm, summer

I was so excited.
Watch me Jump! Jump, jump, JUMP!

Hear my short, happy barks! Ruff! Ruff!
The man-human took pity on me and let me off my leash.

What a fool he was,

Playing right into my master plan.
I raced across the field, just as the humans expected

But then, at the end of the green, there was a small beach

And the water there was at…
LOW TIDE.
Ah, the lovely piles of muckity muck all around!

How I rolled in them, sniffed them, barking my joyous song of stink!

The humans were too afraid to wade through the gunk and get me

Oh, what fools they were to miss this fun.
Then I met Fishy, my little dead scaly friend.

Shall we play together, fishy fish? May I roll on you?

Thank you, don’t mind if I do.

WEEEEEEEEEE!!! Hey, there’s your eye!
Finally, the man-human offered me a pizza bone

So I left Fishy behind and accepted servitude on my torturous leash

The humans had to wait for hours until the next boat ride back home and to the inevitable bathtub

But until then, I was the greatest-smelling doggie in the universe!
How the other dogs envied my stench

My walk was a saunter, a prance, a dance of elation

For one glorious afternoon, I was ultimate in putrid dog.
Oh yes, that was my day

The low-ride day

The day I smelled sooooooooooo good.

Also About Ruby the Dog:

6 Crazy-Cool things About Ruby the Dog
Why Ruby the Dog is a Frustrated Author
Ode to a Spatula, a poem by Ruby the Dog
Mother-Effing Squirrels, another poem by Ruby the Dog

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